Tales of the river Jordan

Flying high

Caitlin Firth

Moaning softly Caitlin forced her eyes open as the extra two minutes in bed had turned into twenty. Not that it mattered much as Caitlin hated the early morning shift for Rapido airlines.

Somehow Caitlin staggered out of bed as the annoying chirpy voice of the inane local radio DJ was violently switched over to Shaun Keavney's breakfast show on BBC six music. A shower was what was needed as the cold water made her gasp and suddenly jolted her brain awake as though an electric charge had been set her awake.

'Oh for feck's sake!' Caitlin swore as the temperature of the water now hit lava level.

Somehow Caitlin had managed to get herself back on track as she pulled on her tights and fixed her uniform.

'Christ I look like a fecking Nazi in this uniform,' Caitlin thought as she carefully fixed the Rapido scarf that she had to wear. At least it was early morning so not many people would see her escaping to her car.

Although Caitlin was already behind time she quickly made up for that as she sped through Allerton road. Even though it was the longer route Caitlin took the detour that took in Garston shore with the early morning sun weakly shining on the Mersey.

'Are you and Cal going away next weekend?' Vanessa asked Caitlin in Spanish.

'Ce,' Caitlin smiled. 'We're off to Ibiza the quiet part.'

Vanessa laughed as Calam wasn't exactly the type to be into the clubbing part of Ibiza.

'Come on Jed we'll be all right once we're up in the air.'

Caitlin raised her eyebrows as a trembling Jed who looked like a grizzly bear in the prime of his life stumbled onto the plane as though he was being forced into a crate.

'I'm not sure about this,' Jed stammered. 'I've got a bad feeling.'

'We're here now,' Maggie whispered. 'It's just like being on a bus.'

'Are you okay?' Caitlin said smiling sweetly.

'He's just nervous about flying.'

'Oh right,' Caitlin replied. 'Is there any part of it that you don't particularly like?'

'All of it.'

'Would it help if you sat by where we sit?' Caitlin asked. 'You can see at first hand at what we do which might put you more at ease.'

Jed nodded as Caitlin ushered him to the nearby seat.

'Once we're up in the air it should be a straightforward flight. I've done this route regularly and we've had no problems.'  Caitlin said although she didn't mention the time when the plane had been struck by lightening.  

With the passengers all on board and sat down it was time for the air safety instructions. Normally it didn't bother Caitlin but upon seeing a ever increasing sweating Jed who looked more like a guilty defendent being presented with the extra evidence to prove his guilt tried to speed the instructions up.

Now came the Spanish instructions with the male voice sounding like someone from the Fast Show's Channel nine with a very overdramatic 'BRACE!!! BRACE!!! BRACE!!!'

Despite the safety advice coming to a end, Jed's arse had completely gone that his eyes were painfully closed as though awaiting the guard's touch to take him to his execution.

'Sir, can you turn your mobile off,' Caitlin asked a young lad. It was another pet hate that every flight they had to get some idiot to turn off their device.