One to Another - quiet, kind & special people

Part 22 - Finn

"Girl, are you alright?" I ask. And from the moment the query left my lips I have been lecturing myself.

Finn Fucking Nelson. What kind of person are you? You couldn't keep your cock in your pants. Rae isn't like the other girls you've been with dickhead, what the hell were you thinking? It is more than likely that I have well and truly fucked this up. What's new. I fuck everything up.

"Finn, I am good" Rae replies kissing my cheek.

"Let's get up Rae, we can eat, listen to some music, have a drink, have the night we planned before I fucked this up" I suggest.

"Finn, you didn't fuck this up. We both wanted it. How is that fucking up? If I was to be honest, I think it is inevitable that you and I would end up here, it just happened way sooner than we expected. Does that make it wrong?" she attempts to appease me.

"Nice try Rae" I reply. "We didn't mean for this to happen, I know that you will regret this" I feel sick to the pit of my stomach.

"Finn you just told me you loved me. Do you?" she questions.

"I say nothing to you that I don't mean Rae. Of course I love you" I declare.

"Then there are no regrets, ok Finn?" Rae smiles at me letting me know that she loves me to, but she doesn't say the words.

We get up and Rae picks up her bag and goes to the bathroom to freshen up. I take the pizza and the booze downstairs to arrange everything for Rae. After I put the pizza in the oven, I rush around and light candles through the living room, turning off the main light. I want to try and make this special, even if I seem to be doing this all in reverse. I think the candle light dinner usually happens prior to the couple going to bed. Given Rae and I aren't the most conventional of couples, if we are a couple. Are we a couple? I wonder, I am sure I wasn't meant to be with her like that tonight.

My internal dialogue sets off again. I don't know how I have taken something so new, and full of possibilities and tarnished it all because I selfishly needed Rae to want and need me. I am such a selfish fucking git. She says there is nothing to forgive, but, I can't help but think that I need to make this up to Rae. She is too special for it to have happened this way.

I go back upstairs to change the sheets. As I have strip the bed, the sheets piled on the floor, Rae walks in. She is wearing her pjs and looking gorgeous. "Rae, you're beautiful" I can't help but tell her, she never believes me, but it doesn't stop me from telling her. She shyly picks up the sheets and goes to take them downstairs. "Wait Rae, I'll come down with you when I have finished making the bed" I stop her from going downstairs without me. I want to see the look on her face when she sees what I set up. I hope she likes it. She drops the sheets and helps me make the bed. It is the first time I have ever made a bed with a girl, and I have to say, it makes me want to bed her again. She has no idea what being close to her does to me. I really struggle to keep my hands to myself. Once the bed is made, I notice Rae gather up the used sheets, hiding the evidence of her first time. I wish she would let me take them for her, but I think if I dare to try and take them from her she will get upset with me.

I lead Rae downstairs. She pauses as she gets to the bottom of the staircase. "What is all this Finn?" she says with an incredible inquisitive look.

I smile at her and say "nothing much".

She has a smile as she enters the living room "Oh Finn" she says. She drops the sheets and wraps her arms around me, and kisses me. "Finn, it is beautiful. You didn't need to do this" she says after she pulls away from my lips, my eyes glued to her.

"Yes I did Rae. You deserve this" I explain to her, my hand holding up her chin as I know she will look away as I say it if I don't. "You deserve this Rae" I say and then I press my lips to her, and slide my tongue into her mouth. Mmmmm, Rae, I am pretty sure I could never get enough. I love being this close to her, she makes me feel like I can do anything. As I pull away from the kiss I stand in the candlelit room hugging Rae Earl. Correction, hugging my girl.