I Need You

Maybe i'll let you in

Authors note: 31 reads?????? Already????? Wow you guys im so flattered. I honestly thought this was gunna be complete shit. Thanks for reading it means a lot to me J

I want you to know that if any of you suffer from self harm or an eating disorder or just need someone to talk to, please contact me I will be here to talk to you!

Thanks so here you go!!!

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~Harry’s POV~

 After Louis left to meet Eleanor for lunch

            Something doesn’t add up. I never would’ve guessed that Eleanor had cheated on Louis. That whore! Who the hell does she think she is? If Louis were my boyfriend I would never do that to him. Wait, what the hell? Louis is my best friend and ONLY my best friend. Maybe there is something wrong with me!

            I’ve noticed Louis eyes have lost their shine. His once icy blue eyes were clouded. He looked bad too. He looked like he hadn’t eaten in a week, although I know that’s not true I saw him eat yesterday. He looked a lot skinnier though. And he wasn’t as playful as he used to be, I thought he said he would never grow up…well it looks like he did. And another thing, whenever I saw him and Eleanor together he didn’t look that happy. I don’t know something doesn’t seem right.

            “Harry! We need you for a harmony!” shouted someone from management. I can’t wait for the fans to hear the new album, but it has taken so much time it’s starting to get to me.

~Louis POV~

After talking to Eleanor

            I can’t believe I actually agreed to tell my mom one of my deepest darkest secrets. I never thought I was ever going to tell someone that I am gay. I don’t know what she’s going to say. I don’t want my mom to hate me, but if I can’t love that part about me how can anyone else? I fully support gay couples, but for some reason when it’s me, I find it disgusting. I should like boobs, butts and girls, but I just don’t. I like the warmth of someone cuddling me, and holding me close and protecting me. But its not right, I shouldn’t want that. Can you imagine if we told all the fans that I am gay? Our career would be ruined.

            I don’t want to feel this way anymore. I want to get better. I want to go one night without tearing my skin apart. I want to go one meal without having to puke it up. But you can’t always get what you want. I just need to take baby steps. Maybe telling Eleanor was the first step. It felt really good to get my feelings off my chest. Next, I’m going to tell my mom, my own flesh and blood. And I’m nervous as hell.

            ‘Grow some balls faggot’ a voice said. I looked around me and yet there was no one there. I quickened my pace, walking towards my car. What was that? Whoever said that was right. I did need to grow some balls; I had the bravery of a little girl. I got into my car and sped off towards the “One Direction house” as fans like to call it.

            About 10 minutes later I pulled into the driveway. I walked into the front door and saw Liam and Niall playing some FIFA.

            “Hey guys im back” I said quietly, secretly hoping they didn’t hear me. The game was paused and they both looked at me.

            “Oh hey Lou! How was lunch?” Niall asked. Oh shit I forgot to eat. No big deal saves me from throwing up.

            “Ya it was good, El and I are cool” I said carelessly. Oops. I forgot I told them that she cheated on me. Great Louis there you go again messing things up.