Samantha's Diary

June 13, 2013

Second day of school. How marvelous.

I hope you detected my sarcasm there.

Classes had been suspended yesterday. So, I wasted the day on reading this new book I got, The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman. Its really cool, its about a kid name Nobody Owens. I really like his name, its seems weird at first but its really unique.

We had a group activity in Math today and I have Red in my group. I didnt really care about all the others, I had already met them when they volunteered the other day. But there's one I hadn't met. This must be Red. He was definitely taller than me, he had thick black hair, and I bet my cat's life that this guy is definitely not gay and that he works out.

He's very... nice looking. He's not that handsome. But there's something about him that's... weird. I tightened my vest around me and looked at the floor. Damn, theres just something different about this guy. I just cant put my finger on it.

As we worked on the activity, I can't help but stare. He's just different. We talked a bit, and he's really nice. We laughed a couple of times, and his laugh is contagious. He smiled at me as I wrote down a couple of answers on my paper, and I swear I felt that feeling again. That feeling that I thought only Gary can give.

Butterflies.

~

Nothing else happened today. Just me reading my book, me staring at Red and me thinking about Red. Its weird I know. I ended up talking and actually hanging out with Larissa and Christina. I love talking to them but they're just annoying at times and they are very childish. Red and I dont talk that much, just a few glances thrown here and there.

As soon as I got home, I began writing here again. Its really weird how people my age are out there dating and hanging out with big groups of friends while I'm here reading books and watching them. I dont really like spending too much time with friends. I'm basically labeled as 'Forever Alone'.

My mom says I'm just different from the others. Not everyone can relate me in that way. Plus, I wasnt that outgoing either. I'm just not into BFF's and all that crap. I dont know anyone else who can relate to me. I mean not kids like reading pictureless books nowadays, not all kids like my kind of music and certainly not all kids can stay as quiet as me. My only friend is a book, because a friend can leave and reject you, while a book is always open.

I rolled around sightly in bed. I suck at almost everything right now.

~

Thirty minutes ago, I was asleep and having the best dream ever. Then the thought of being forever alone came rushing in, and then I woke up.

I sighed as I opened my mega huge window. It's currently 11:38 pm and I'm here sitting in front of my bedroom window. Its a rather starry night. I absolutely love skies like this. It keeps me distracted and makes me imagine all the positive things. Its really is corny, but gazing towards skies like this gives me that wonderful feeling. Its like that relaxing feeling you get when you've done something good and you know it.

I kept thinking about Red. Is it possible that I have a crush on him? Maybe, but I still have feelings for Gary. Gary and I have been through alot since 2nd grade, I cant help it if I still love him.

Even if we hadn't talk, or noticed each other, I could still feel them. Butterflies. Everytime I think about him I end up either blushing or feeling faint because of too much butterflies. He's the only one that can do that to me until Red came. I think Red is really nice, cute and if you really had met him, you cannot deny the fact that he's definitely a looker. I'm not even sure if I like Red, we just met!

I really do suck when it comes to love.