Is it okay to feel this way, try to hide it all. Wanting to disappear, not wanting to be in this world anymore. I just want to be the best I want to be who I was before a confident girl. Not caring what other people think. be the person that is ideal for everyone, not feel this pain I feel everyday, not have this thoughts that suffocate me, that hurt me. I want to be happy. why can't I just walk on pedals and not feel like I'm burning alive everyday. I wish I could stop time and stay like this forever in this moment we're it myself in this room looking up at a blank wall and not worrying about what's next. I wish I could close my eyes and sleep and not wake up just sleep, sleep, and sleep. Not think just... just end this already is it this hard? Part of me say that I don't want to give up to keep pushing forward. But then the other parts says its bullshit. Why is it so hard I'm only a teenager, but I have experience so many things I shouldn't have. So today I wonder... is today the day, the day that maybe if I'm gone no one will care no one will get hurt. It will just be another story of a girl that was in depression and no one knew about it, another story of a suicidal teen, another story of "they had their whole life ahead of them", another person that did something stupid and forget about it or move on to the next stupid person who is in depression. They will just remember my name and say she WAS nice, WAS kind, WAS friendly and maybe remember me in their thoughts. So is today the day?
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