1. Let it slip what Carlisle really does during his night shifts at the hospital, with all of the pretty nurses.
2. Tell her all about the names of your future children, when you want to have them, what genders you want them to be, etc.
3. Ask her if her hair looks like caramel, does it taste like caramel?
4. Tell her what the nurses at the hospital really think of Carlisle.
5. Then smudge lipstick on Carlisle's shirt collar and spray him with perfume
6. Laugh loudly when Esme notices, and videotape the reaction.
7. Anonymously send her a package of baby clothing in the mail.
8. Break her favorite lamp.
9. Tell her Emmett did it.
10. Shoot a deer and lay it on her dining room table.
11. Tell her you brought home dinner.
12. Take all her best plate and throw them at the wall.
13. Tell her you were practicing frisbee.
14. Buy a puppy that isn't house broken.
15. Let it loose and let it do it's business around the house.
16. Tell her she has a wierd name.
17. Constantly mispronounce her name.
18. Tell her she's a terrible mother.
19. Start a food fight in her kitchen.
20. Make her clean it up.
21. Steal Carisle's phone and put your phone number in his contacts. Put your name as Lisa and put a random picture of a bikini model from Google as the contact picture.
22. Call his phone from a distance. Make sure Esme sees the picture and answers. Before she can say anything say in a high pitched voice "Hey, Carly. I had so much fun last night. I'll meet you in your office at six, okay?" When Esme reply's say, "Oops, wrong number," and hang up.
23. Take a chunk of her hair, put it in a blender with milk and hand back the final product, claiming it's a caramel milkshake.
24. Ask her what her favorite baby names are.
*Sorry for such a short list. Esme's just too nice. I was bawling in BD because I thought she was going to die :( I read the book too!!!! Anyway yeah. Like it? Love it? Tell me in a comment!*
