NCIS High School Teenage Years

Chapter 20: Rocket Science

A couple of days went by since the Krav Maga lesson at the high school. Ziva finally plucked up the courage to tell Tony that she slept with Michael. Tony didn't take the news very well. After yelling at Ziva for how stupid she was, Ziva slapped him. If looks could kill, then Tony was most certainly dead from the look she gave him.
That was the last time anyone saw Ziva for months. After their confrontation back in February, Ziva ran away. It was now May, and she was still missing. The whole of NCIS and the FBI were looking for her, but their actions were in vain. Ziva was trained by Mossad, and if she didn't want to be found, nobody would be able to.

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"Hey dad, can I ask you a question?" Tony said, descending to Gibbs' basement.

"Sure kid, shoot". Gibbs said, hammering a nail in his boat.

"Do you think Ziva will come back?"

Gibbs sighed. "I honestly don't know, Tony".

"But do you think she's still alive?"

Gibbs sighed again and rested his tools on the workbench. "Chances are, she's dead".

Tony's lip trembled, and he sat down on a chair. He raked his fingers through his hair. "She-she can't be dead". Tony said, his voice cracking. "I don't believe it".

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Jenny descended into the basement, and saw Tony. She rushed over to him and crouched down so that she was eye level with him. "I've been meaning to talk to you". She said, putting a comforting hand on Tony's knee. "One of your teachers at school is very worried about you".

"Which one?" Tony asked, sniffing.

"Your Anthropology teacher, Mr. Mallard". She said. "He apparently has a degree in psychology, and he said that he was worried about your mental state".

"My mental state is just fine!" Tony said, getting defensive. "I just- I just miss Ziva".

Jenny looked at her husband, and Gibbs gave her a knowing nod. Silently confirming that Tony did in fact, have strong feelings for Ziva.

"Tony, would it help if you talk to him?" Jenny asked.

Tony shrugged. "I guess. It won't help bring Ziva back, but I guess".

Jenny smiled and straightened up. "Good, because Mr. Mallard is here. I invited him over".

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Just then, Tony heard footsteps coming down the stairs. Jenny walked over to Mr. Mallard, and shook his hand. Then, Gibbs and Jenny climbed the stairs, and closed the basement door. Leaving Mr. Mallard and Tony alone.
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"Hello, my boy. How are you?" Mr. Mallard asked with his Scottish accent.

Tony faked a smile. "I'm fine Mr. Mallard. Really, I am".

Mr. Mallard chuckled. "Please call me Ducky. Everyone does".

"Alright Ducky. I heard that you were concerned about my mental state".

Ducky sighed. "I just want to talk to you about what is bothering you. I have a feeling something horrific happened in your life".

"Horrific?" Tony faked a chuckle. "No. Honestly Ducky, nothing's wrong".

"So, Ziva's disappearance has nothing to do with it?" Ducky asked, raising an eyebrow.

Tony looked at the floor. Ducky had figured out the source of all his pain, and now Tony had no choice but to talk about it.

"Ziva has everything to do with it". Tony said softly, fighting back tears. He looked at the ceiling and sighed. "Ever since she left, it's like a part of me left with her".

"Did you love her?" Ducky asked gently.

Tony raked his fingers through his hair. "Oh Ducky. I don't know".

"But you did have some feelings towards her?"

"Yes. I guess I did. Ziva is .... special". Tony said.

"What stopped you from making a move?" Ducky asked.

"A move?"

"Yes, a move. You know, like asking her on a date".

"Guess I didn't have the courage. Besides, she was already seeing someone the day she left".

"Who?"

"Michael Rivkin". Tony spat out. "She told me she slept with him".

"What was your response?"

Tony raked his fingers through his hair again. "I yelled at her, and told her that she was stupid for sleeping with someone like Michael".

"Is that the reason why she ran off?"

"I don't see any other reason". Tony said, sighing. "She ran away because of me. Right Ducky? It's all my fault."

Ducky shifted in his seat. "Well, I think there was a reason why she told you. She obviously trusted you, and thought she could tell you anything. When you turned on her, she probably felt betrayed. Then, she ran off".

"But why, Ducky? Why run away when she could have ignored me?"

"She probably panicked. From what I see in class, Ziva's experienced a lot of betrayal and distrust in her life. She finally opened up to you and told you a secret; expecting you to be there as a friend. But instead, you turned on her. In her mind, you betrayed her and her trust".

"So the only option for her was to run? To get far away from me?"

"Yes Anthony. I believe so". Ducky said.

"So... she's... not coming back?" Tony asked quietly, not wanting to hear Ducky's answer.

Ducky shook his head. "I don't think so. Chances are, she won't. Would you return to someone, or somewhere that reminded you of betrayal, hurt, and distrust?"

"No". Tony said softly. "I guess I wouldn't".

"Well, neither would I".

"But if she only knew how I feel about her. If she knew, then she would come back". Tony said.

"And how do you feel about her?" Ducky asked.

Tony sighed. "I don't really know, Ducky. It's complicated".

Ducky huffed. "Well, figure it out. It isn't rocket science".

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Tony found himself in Ziva's bedroom. Tony hadn't been in her room much. The only time he had been, was when she cooked the delicious Risotto for him, and when he slept over after taking her and Tali home from ballet. His eyes wandered over to the bed she slept in, and then to her bed sheets that he took from her that one night she slept over.

"Say it, and you'll have your sheets back. Promise me you'll make Italian for me tomorrow".'

"Fine! I promise I'll make Italian for you tomorrow. But don't complain if you don't like it. Now give me my sheets back".

"No. They smell like you, and I like them".

Wanting to smell her again, Tony walked to the closet door. He opened it, and took one of Ziva's scarfs off the hanger. He swiftly brought it up to his nose, and took a big whiff. Tears sparkled in his eyes, and they slowly made their way down his cheek. He smelled her scarf again, and more tears cascaded down his cheek.

Shaking with sobs, Tony stood up, and made his way to her window. Rays of sunshine were seeping through a patch in the clouds. Tony rested his head on her window, and looked up to the rays of sunshine.

"I'm so sorry, Ziva". He whispered to the Heavens above.