Living With Nothing But A Broken Heart

Chapter 1: The Beginnings

McKinsey Anne Mackenhall. Yep, that's me. Nothing too special about me really, just a normal 16 year old. I go to South Hermaine High School. This is going to be my 3rd year here and I can't begin to explain how ready I am to be out of here, I don't enjoy waking up at 5am, taking my medication, showering, doing makeup and hair, and getting ready to leave my house by 6:45am. It's such a boring routine. Day after day, the same thing.
    Looking at me you wouldn't be able to tell that I was born with a heart defect, but talking to me and getting to know me it becomes obvious. My mom tells me it's nothing to worry about so I don't know too much about what happened, but, according to my friends I act differently, I lack something. No one has told me what, well, that's a lie, they've all tried to explain it to me, but I can never grasp the concept. They say it's a feeling, a lifestyle, and even a reason to live. They call it love, such a foreign word, love. I've heard my mom say it to me, and to my brother, and to my dad. But, I've never understood. It's just and emotion is it not? It's just like happiness or sadness. Just, more intense. Right? Love cannot make or break a persons life. I've gone 16 years without it and now it's "such a big deal". But, if I needed it to live wouldn't I be dead by now? It's not possible to live without it, they say. But, look at me, am I not the prime example of life without love? I'm happy, I'm content, I'm alive.
    Maybe rather than rambling on about my issues, you'd like to hear more about my friends. Well, I'll start with the one I've known the longest, her name's Micah Watson. She's 17 and so nice! She's been with me since I was born since our moms are best friend. I honestly have no clue how I'd make it through High School without her and her crazy antics. Next I'll tell you about a guy friend who I've known since my 1st year at SHH, his name's Zach Mayford, and he is my favourite person in the world! He can make my day go from horrible to amazing nearly instantly. He can always help me with anything I need and is the only one who will bring me to the doctor now. He is one of 4 people who knows what happened to me at birth, along with my parents and my brother. It's crazy to think that he's willing to talk to even me, let alone be my best friend. There are hundreds of girls who throw themselves at him. Everyone thinks he's a player and that he will fuck anything that moves, but really he's just an amazing person. He's actually never even had a girl friend. It's crazy to think that with all the girls that throw themselves on him that he hasn't been with any of them.
    Sorry, got off on a bit of a tangent with that one... Let's just talk about my family. I'll start with my mom, Nancy O'Riley-Mackenhall. She has the patience of a saint. She deals with me when I'm screaming that I hate her or when I'm trying to hurt my brother. Next is my father, Michael Mackenhall. He...well...he's scary, to say the least. He's overprotective, of me especially, because of his own past. He always needs to know where I am, who I'm with, and when I'll be back, it's a burden really. Like, I could be in my room and he'll be worried that I left or died or something. Honestly, I'm 16, I think I can handle it on my own. Whatever, that's enough about him. Now, my brother, Austin, is easily my favourite family member. He understands that I'm not a 3 year old, I can do things without everyone needing to know where I am or what I'm doing. He's like the layer of oxygen in my nitrogen filled life. He gives me a break from the screaming and crying. He taught me how to handle things like an adult, something my parents never did.
More about me...hmmm...well my birthday is July 30th, 1999 and I weighed 3lbs 8oz. Yeah. I was tiny. They were afraid that since I was so early I would have issues but they never would've predicted what actually happened. I go to the doctor each week and they're amazed I'm alive each time I'm there, they call me the miracle. I don't understand why, I mean, it's not hard for me, just take breaths and fake smiles. That's all it takes right?
Can we go back to the topic of Zach Mayford? Thanks. Okay, well he tells me that there's people at the school who love me. There's that damn word again. Love. Love. Love. A strange concept, is it not? He says he knows so many guys who want to help me. Do they know? He says someone started a rumour that love for me was like satan for many, even the mere thought could cause me to die. Was that true? If I knew what love was would I die? Will I ever die?