Mosaic

Word Count 528

When she lost all that she had, nobody lent her a hand. He showed her kindness, he offered her redemption. He gave her a chance and looked past her illicit actions. She made everyone think that she didn't care, that she could do whatever she wanted. In reality, she wanted to be saved. She didn't believe because she wasn't given a reason to. He promised her happiness, no matter how impossible it seemed at the time. But as he bled out, her words bled with him.

Strive, survive. What did it matter if they were all going to die one way or another?

I knew that she had every reason to think how she did, she still does. I wanted to save her too, I wanted to grant her happiness too. This is a world where we look up to a God that won't waste His breath on us, a world where people slave away for a higher being's entertainment. "He doesn't see anything, He doesn't save anyone." I didn't blame her and I still don't.

I wonder why I had taken a liking to her. I don't pity her, I refuse to treat someone like that. I care for her, after all the bombs and bloodshed, I can still hear her heart's silent cries for help.

We're very similar. Killing is our only escape; failure means death. We both had objectives, though they were far from similar. We walked empty paths that lead to a place we'd only reach in our minds. We walked the path of death. We pushed forward no matter the cost.

Destruction, desolation. Our deaths won't ever be in vain if we're attempting to achieve what we think is right.

I gave her a promise and I fulfilled it. She's safe now, she's loved. But somehow that thought only feeds the void in my soul. She's happy now, but why does that leave me feeling like I'm missing something? I want, I know that I have everything I should have, and yet I want more. I worked hard for the sake of everyone else's futures, but what about my present? Why can't I be happy like everyone else? Why am I stuck at a dead end if I could have a happy ending instead?

I signed up for this when I decided to participate in the Game as a side character.. but I was hoping that some miracle would've smashed through the future I see to prove me wrong again. Of course that would never happen, I'd never get my happy end because nobody gets lucky twice and that's the truth. If there was a way out, she'd take it. Failure isn't an option. I'm stuck in a loop of despair and bitterness, exactly what their futures were before I existed. I want us two to have just one more similarity, I want to walk the path she takes now. The one that isn't reeking of rotten corpses and broken glass. Would the one known as God look me in the eye once more? Because it's no longer Him, could I get a wish just like her's?

I want to be saved too.