Rem

Dear diary 1: Crazy crazy Raven

2:26pm, Tuesday

Dear Diary version of me. :)

Something freaky happened after I came back from school. I walked into the dorm room a few minutes after school ended. I was totes excited about going home today because Ray-nbow and I were planning to just watch Dr. who and eat crisps, or chips, or whatever, depending on where in the world diary Liza is located... But anyways... wait, what was i talking about? Oh yeah, potato chips!! So we were planning to just have a fat night and just go girly and talk and laugh and chizz... but when I walked in the room, Ravenclaw was lying on the floor like she was dead or something. A normal person would have totally freaked and call the cops or something, but as we have gone over many, many times before, I am not a normal person. I took this time as the perfect opportunity to give her a makeover. Maybe I would go with a pirate? or a French man? Or both?!

So I kneeled down, and got out my black marker, and then she woke up. Awesome, just when I was getting ready. :( Anyways she like sat up really swiftly and she kinda head butted me. It hurt like hell. I didn't have time to react with a scream because she launched at me, good thing I was skilled in MMA from practicing to be in that new karate movie. But apparently, they wanted a brit, not only a brit, but a 50 year old man. Which was soo not fair since i played the part like WAY better than that sensei dude, and I could kick his butt! And have you heard my British accent? It's absolutely positively superb. No for real tho, that ish is nice as hell. Wait... what? Oh yeah Raysin going bat shit crazy and trying to KILL me. Anyways I just flipped her over and she blacked out again. Gosh that girl needs help.

2:47pm, Tuesday

Well, Cray, Cray Ray-Ray finally woke up. But she was like screaming her little ears off and I couldn't concentrate on Dr. Who. "shut up Raven! We are about to find out what happened to Rory. Gosh, you have no manners!" She just stared at me for a long while and it was creeping me the fuck out. I wonder about her sanity sometimes. 

"Eliza? Is that you?" she asked finally calming herself. She was sitting up, her hair in a mess and her eyes wide open. She touched the back of her head giving a wince. "That's what you get for trying to kill me, what the heck got into you?!"  I mean, the nerve of some people, all I was trying to do was disfigure her face and that was how she thanked me? What is really wrong with the world these days? 

She looked at me as if highly confused, "I thought you were Edward."  

"who?! Edward, do you got like a man you don't tell me about that you do some freaky stuff with? I mean attacking each other and stuff? What the hell?" I said totally creeped out. I mean I would have understood attacking Nialls but they were enemies, (btw... I totally ship them so hard...I mean they are meant for love, Naven is a hot ship name. right? Yeah. I know) but I didn't know any hated Edwards so it must mean they have been getting it on...

But Ray-zor made my thoughts with her voice, "No. No, Edward was this dude, in Rem. He... fight...king...blue... blue trees.."  it seemed the more she talked, the more straining talking was for her. She was hyperventilating. "Hun, calm down. You need to breathe girl." I said getting a little scared, "what the heck are you talking about?" I mean people call me the weird one? I am an acting genius and she is sitting here crying about blue trees. I wonder if she is on drugs...I wonder where I can get some drugs? I mean how do they feel? They should really make something that simulates the feeling. But drugs mess with your head and I really want a clear head for my acting. Anyways, Raven. finally calmed herself... again. "Thank you, for FINALLY shutting yourself. Now speak like a normal person." I ordered staring at the screen, just what you can miss in a couple of minutes. 

Poor little Raven sat there thinking... She looked absolutely petrified. And I could just feel her energy, it looked like my girl needed some love. "If you need a hug... you should have gotten a boyfriend like I told you." I laughed, but she just sat there... dang, I guess she needed someone 'serious' or 'normal' or 'understanding'. Gosh, the things I did for this girl. I kneeled down next to her and put on my most caring motherly voice, "Okay hun, what happened?" I said holding her hand. Gosh this girl really needed a pedicure. But she was my bff and I had to try to help her out. She cleared her throat and stopped crying, trying to act tough, or at least strong. But being the superb actress I was, I could see right through it all, the confusion, the sadness, the longing to be held and told that everything was okay, the longing to know the unknown, she wanted an explanation, not only for what had recently happened to her, but for life.

Raven sat cross legged, "When I came home... there was a necklace, a pretty one with a key, and I put it on...  And the room... It was spinning Liza. Spinning! And... I rose up, and then I suddenly fell... and there were blue trees, and a guy... and a party and..." she paused to watch me stare at her boobs...no not like that... she had a necklace stuck to her shirt. Gosh... didn't I tell you... I love guys...with their yummy abs and their eyes and facial hair and oh my gosh... what was I saying? Oh yeah... the necklace. "girl when you said necklace did you mean that fine ash thing connected to your shirt?" I said snatching it. What? Don't look at me that way... it was a fine ass necklace. She screamed "NOO..." and was about to jump on me but I was too quick... (thanks to that one time when I practiced speed dressing for that movie about the really fast guy... But yet again, they needed a Russian black man in his late 30s and they weren't looking for someone ultra-fast... that was what special effects was for. But have you heard my Russian accent? And where the heck would they find a black Russian dude interested in acting... producers are so stupid.) she looked at me in awe and horror at the same time... waiting for something to happen... but nothing did. And then I looked at myself in the mirror and screamed... she jumped up. "What is it Liza?"  

"The... the necklace... totally makes me look fat." I said chugging it to her... "and you have some weird ass dreams girl... now come on... the dr. is on." She looked at me, unsure, then she finally sat down. Finally!! Now I can just relax. Peace out.