Diary of a Dork

Chapter 1

Sometimes i wonder if my mom is BRAIN DEAD. Then there are days when i know she is.

Like today.

The drama starter this morning when i casually asked if she would buy me one of those cool new iPhones that do almost everything. I considered it a necessity of life, second only maybe to oxygen.

What better way to clinch a spot in the CCP (Cute, Cool & Popular) group at my new private school, Orange Country Middle School.

Last year, it seemed like i was the ONLY student in my entire middle school who didnt have one. So i bought an older, used phone super-cheap on eBay.

It was bigger than what i wanted, but i figured i couldnt go wrong for the clearance price of only $12.99.

I put my phone in my locker and spread the word that everyone could call me with all the JUICY gossip on my new telephone! Then i counted down minutes before my social life started heating up.

I got really nervous when two of the CCP girls came walking down in my direction chatting on their mobile phones.

They came right over to my locker and started acting super-friendly. Then they invited me to sit with them at lunch and I was like, "Umm...okay." But deep down inside i was jumping up and down and doing my snoopy "happy dance".

Then things got really strange. They said they had heard about my new $600 Juicy Couture designer mobile phone and that everyone (meaning the rest of the CCP crew) couldnt wait to see it.

I was about to explain that i has said, "juicy gossip on my new phone" NOT, "new gossip on my Juicy phone", but i never got a chance because, unfortunately, my telephone started ringing. Very abnomally loudly. I was trying my best to ignore it, but both of the CCP girls were staring at me like, "Well arent you going to answer it?!"

Obviously, i didnt want to answer it because i had a really bad feeling they were going to be a little dissappinted when they actually saw my phone.

So i just stood there praying that it would stop ringing, but it didnt. And pretty soon everyone in the hallway was staring at me too.

Finally, i gave in, snatched open my locker and answered the phone. Mainly to stop that awful ringing.