Destiny: Diary of a 15 Year Old Psycho

The Diagnosis

My tight leather shoes guided me towards the revolving glass door, it reminded me of the relationship between my dad and I, since mum died, we never really spoke much. The intoxicating aroma of antibacterial gel and different types of medicines hit me across the face and made me feel dizzy. The sun reflected off the plain white walls, causing my big blue eyes to squint and my pale skin to crease. Dad steered me towards the mustard yellow chairs and I gently lowered myself down. I stared at the cream clock on the wall and watched what seemed like hours pass by. Eventually I heard a voice from the speakers announce "Destiny Zielberg to room 21, Thank you." I got up from the comfortable chair and ventured my way up the stairs to room 21. With the occasional stop for breath, I finally reached my destination.

I paced up to the door and intently twisted the handle downwards and pushed on it with my other hand. As soon as I entered I could see a short man sitting at an immaculate desk with all of his stationary neatly lined up in order of size, he was the total opposite of me. He had wiry red hair that was short on the back and sides. He wore big black glasses and a long white lab coat on top of his pale blue jumper. He gestured to dad and I to sit on the two chairs in the middle of the room, so we immediately sat. My mind filled with endless possibilities of what he was about to say. What if I had the 'common cold' was he going to yell at me for wasting his time? I had to find out what was wrong with me, so I closed my eyes and let him talk. "I am so sorry to tell you this, but I am afraid we have found that you have anxiety disorder and clinical depression. This is the reason you have been experiencing shortness of breath and nausea at times. We will be recommending you go and see a counselor." Silence. My entire body shut down. I am 15, I am supposed to be partying and getting into trouble with the police, not stuck in my stupid bedroom for the rest of my worthless life. I fell to the ground, my body felt as if it was shutting down from stress and anger. A layer of liquid formed around dad's eyes, I had never seen him cry before, not even at mum's funeral. I guess it was because they were getting a divorce anyway, dad must have felt awful.

Why was it my life that always to go wrong? Practically every girl in my school had two parents that loved each other, a big sister to tell everything to and an annoying little brother to have play fights with. I had no mother, no siblings, and a dad who never said anything me. Dad lifted me up off the floor and carried me out of the room. "Sir you must stay so we can discuss Destiny's welfare." The doctor exclaimed. Dad acted like he didn't even hear the him and marched out of the hospital. When we got outside he popped me down on the pavement and for the first time in forever he asked me "What would you like to do sweet-pea?" He gazed into my eyes and it seemed like he actually cared about what I had to say. I took a second to think and then I replied "We could go to Brighton Pier. I've seen loads of pictures and it looks amazing." I was playing it cool but inside I was screaming with excitement. I had wanted to go to Brighton since I was about 9 years old, but I wouldn't dare ask to go or I would be yelled at by him. It was so unfair that he waited until I had a mental illness before he cared about me. He was usually horrible. "Why not petal! We could rent a little cottage or something." This was seriously scary. Dad had never so much as asked me how school was, and now he was whisking me away to Brighton. Tears started streaming down my face while the ferocious winds blew into my dark hair. As soon as I saw that dad was watching me cry, I dashed away.