Destiny: Diary of a 15 Year Old Psycho

The Hospital, Again

The hospital was as daunting as ever. I started to have the same feeling as this morning. The walls felt like they were closing in and everybody suddenly started to smother me. A group of nurses gathered around me. This was so embarrassing. What if they judged me for this and thought I was a freak. "Are you okay love?" An older nurse said. "Where are your parents" said another. Dad was sitting in the corner on his phone, not even noticing what was happening to me. I started to cry again. This was so pathetic. I was fine a minute ago. But now I felt so vulnerable and ill.

A nurse sat me down in a wheelchair and I felt so helpless. My stomach felt like it was spinning out of control. My head began to spin as I approached one of the doctors' rooms. The nurse crouched down and rubbed my shoulder "Do you need anything, love?" She asked. Her voice reminded me of mum's, soft and sweet. "Where's my Dad?" I blurted out. I turned my head to see if he was behind me. He wasn't. "You just had a panic attack, sweetheart. Do you get these often?" I held my head in my hands and wept until I was lost for breath. The nurse took ahold of my hand. She rubbed it gently with her thumb. I flinched as she touched where Dad had hit me. "How did this happen?" Dad rushed into the room and frowned at the nurse. "Destiny why do you always have to rush off. Your appointment was meant for half an hour ago you idiot!" He snapped. He was so obviously drunk, his speech was slurred and he could not keep himself upright."Excuse me sir, Destiny has just had an anxiety attack and needs to be kept in here to calm down. You shouting at her is certainly not going to help. Is it?" Her big brown eyes stared at him intimidatingly. She raised her eyebrows and pointed at a seat out in the corridor. Dad was about to have a go at her, but then just did as she said. "That got rid of him" She chuckled, I couldn't help smiling. "So how did this happen then?" She gestured towards my hand again. I had no idea what to say. I glared out of the window and saw Dad slouched down on his chair. He was biting his fingernails and itching his head. I couldn't rat him out. Could I? He would kill me if he found out. "Oh, I... fell over on the way here, I'm so clumsy." I put on a fake smile and covered my hand with my sleeve. The room we were in was the mental health department. There were tonnes of posters to do with it. One of them was of a girl who was beautiful with lovely long blonde hair and a with lots of awful words around her like 'weird, ugly, loner' was this me? After about 5 minutes of waiting around, the nurse called Dad in the room. He stumbled into the room, he didn't look the same as he use to. He slumped himself down on the seat next to me, his forehead was wrinkled and his mouth frowned. The nurse grinned at him and started to try and make conversation with him. "So, Destiny has been telling me what happened with her hand, poor thing!" Dad turned his head towards me, so fast his hair flicked across his back. Oh no! He was going to think that I told her that he did it. I looked back at him and shook my head as if to say 'It's not what it looks like' but he took this the wrong way "Destiny why did you rat me out!" He seized my arm and pulled me out of the room. He was grabbing my arm too tightly, I was in pain. The nurse managed to pull him off me as we got to the door "Sir! Leave poor Destiny alone! You did this to her hand? And now you're snatching her weak arm? What kind of a father are you?" I could progressively see a fine green vein beginning to emerge on her olive forehead. Why did she have to say weak? I was not incapable of standing up for myself, was I? "Please stop arguing, I just want to go home" I squeaked. The nurse and Dad both stared intently at me. I felt so embarrassed I burst into tears again. Why was I such a baby? Why couldn't I be tough? "We're going home, Destiny. We don't need bitches like her ordering us around!" I clasped my shaking hand over my mouth and apologised for my Dad's insane behavior instantly. She gave me a little smile as Dad tugged me out of the room and straight into the car.