In the beginning, Physics created the universe. But to make a lot less people angry or confused, or both, we will add the possibility that he merely defined it.
Anyways, Physics created/defined the universe.
Chemistry created/defined the stuff in the universe.
Then, Biology came along and created/defined the stuff in the stuff in the universe that could do stuff that the stuff in the universe couldn’t do.
The original creators/definers decided to call themselves the Big Three, because well…….among other things, they were the first Three.
At one point or another, they reached a general consensus that because without Physics, there can be no Chemistry; without Chemistry, there can be no Biology, but without Biology, Physics and Chemistry can do whatever the hell they want, it was only proper that Physics should assume the role of Big Brother; Chemistry, Little Brother, and Biology, Little Sister.
Big Brother’s evil twin, Quantum Physics, wanted to make it the Fantastic Four, but everyone hated him and thought that was the lamest idea they ever heard. So Quantum Physics retreated into a black hole, where his mind became more and more twisted and schemed to unleash his vengeance on the Big Three in the most utterly vicious way possible. He will be discovered millions of years later by some bored astro-nuclear-quasi-meta-physicists over a cup of Javanese coffee in UCLA, but that’s another story.
With the help of Chemistry, Little Sister conceived the most beautiful single-celled organisms in the universe. But things started to get a whole lot more complicated when one day their chemistry was a little too good and during a freak accident and Little Sister gave birth to the most curiously repulsive hyperspecies the world had ever seen. When they reproduced and spiraled out of control, the Big Three said to hell with them and created/defined the gods in the hyperspecies’ own image to keep the virulent beings in check while Physics, Chemistry, and Biology went off to start over in some other dimension that was not yet all lost.
Left with their own devices and minimal oversight, the gods decided to have some fun.
They partied day and night, dawn till dusk, dusk till dawn again. They drank the honey mead, barely beer, grape-wine, palm-wine, rice-wine, and hot chocolate, which the mortals spilled over the altar; they ate the goats, sheep, oxen, geese, chickens, water buffaloes, llamas, and tapir and used the prisoners-of-war and the virgins that the mortals sacrificed; got high on the incense and other hallucinogens that the mortals burned, and finally they held their orgies in each others’ second, third, fourth, fifth, and sixth mansions which the mortals gladly built for them in the hope of receiving generous services such as lowered trade restrictions In the Mediterranean, some useful additions to the Laws of Nature (i.e. 6 day workweek for gravity) or even a brighter afterlife for those who liked to think ahead, invest in the future, save for a rainy day, that sort of thing.
However, the calls always went unanswered, and people would have had better luck holding their noses and hopping on the spot while singing “Yellow Submarine” backwards. The gods received the gifts with open arms and did whatever the hell they wanted, with whoever they wanted, often in Hell itself, which was widely known for its excellent pyrotechnics and firewater, hosted by Lucifer, who was of course a devil.
Some interpreted the “whoever” part loosely and created demigods. Some of the most notable were Jesus of Nazareth and Hercules the Great, both of whom did great things and made a lot of people very happy.
However, there always had to be some who had to ruin it for all demigods, such as Percy Jackson, who instead made milions unhappy in his debut of the Lightning Thief and vanquished the hopes of many with its unfortunate sequel.
Gods were many and their names even more so. Strangely, of all things, one god decided to call himself God. When the others asked him why, God claimed that it was because although all gods were created equal, some were more equal than others. He changed his mind mid-sentence and went as far as to say that it was because he was The God, The One True God, and The Only God in the Universe.
When the other gods asked that if that was true, why he didn’t simply choose to call himself The God, The One True God, or the Only God in The Universe in the first place to avoid later confusion instead of just God, God admitted that it was because Thor was taken and he was out of ideas.
To that, Hades gave God a good tug on the shoulder and said that it was jolly good because at least it was a name most people could pronounce and remember, and not something like Bhuvaneshvari or YHWH, or whatever the heck he was called. Then God was invited to the most explosively stimulating party in the Underworld, which was full of heavy metal music and enough oil to go around for a thousand baths.
There is a funny story regarding why Lucifer is a devil and not The Devil, but he tells it better than anyone else can.
