"I’ve been looking for a way out
Something that isn’t so cruel
Well, I’m a little tired, you see
Complacent and miserable
I think you’re missing out
I think you’re dumbing it down”
The Fortunate - Cartel
Chapter One
School. 1pm.
"Myka, you've got to get over him,” my best friend Ferra. The look on her pixie-like face was full of pity, but just as she said it she stole a glance over to her ex boyfriend Trey. She took a strand of her curly blonde hair between her fingers and tried to hide what she had just done.
I rolled my eyes and went back to pushing around the food on my tray from the cafeteria. “Easier said than done.”
Why Ferra even bothered hanging around me after all that had happened, I had no idea. At times, I hated it. When you are consumed with so much grief and feel weak when just weeks before you were strong and confident. It could get embarrassing, and loneliness was seen as something to be grateful for.
"It's been two weeks and he hasn't said a word to you. If he's not going to show you that respect, he isn't worth chasing.”
I knew she was right. I was hopelessly in love with the worst possible for me. I was never respected, maybe not even loved. There was still something about him that tugged me toward him. Ferra had been my best friend for 6 years since we met in 7th grade. Now, as seniors, she was the only person I had ever called my best friend, but as well as we knew each other, she couldn't seem to comprehend how I felt. The one and only thing that could make my whole existence happy when he noticed me or talked to me. He was my everything for three years, and when it's not you who's ending the relationship, it's not easy to let go. I was still wearing the little ring he had gotten me last year at the county fair. Dinky little thing, but it meant so much to me.
"We should get going if we want to get a good seat in Mr. Deckert's. Grab that apple and let's get going.” Ferra slung her backpack over her shoulder and waited for me as I tossed my whole tray. I could feel her disapproving eyes burning holes into the side of my head, but I didn’t bother looking over.
"What exactly have you eaten today? Or this week for that matter?”
A few crackers. “Plenty. You know my parents,” I shrugged.
"Oh, don't try that. Mykes, I know you better than your own parents. You've lost all your color and you've turned into a stick. This isn't healthy,” she stopped walking and held onto my arm, “I'm worried about you.”
I shook out of her hold. “I'm fine. I'm here aren't I?”
She gave up and we got to class, getting middle row seats. Mr. Deckert was a the tall and charming history teacher everyone loved, but me. He gave me the creeps and I could never understand why. Ferra thought I was crazy, yet she was the one drawing a heart around his name in pink gel pen. I couldn't explain it but since I first met him, he made my skin crawl and it was annoying how many students saw him to be god-like. Aside from that, this was the class I hated most because Quinton, the heart-breaker, always sat in the front row and I had a clear view of his jet-black hair that curled at his ears. He never once looked back. I had the thought of transferring out, but Ferra made me pinky promise to make it through the year. If I could.
My house. 10pm.
My parent's had gone to bed and the house was now silent. Leaving me alone with my thoughts, which I tried to avoid at all costs. So, before my nose even had the chance to start burning and before the tears came flowing, I turned on the Tv and flicked through my DVR.
