Behind Golden Eyes [boyxboy] (On Hold Temporarily)

Chapter 10

I woke up, gasping for air. My heart was pounding so hard against my chest; my body was covered in cold sweats. That place, that man, everything felt so real. Was it all just a horrible dream? My head was spinning and I had to take deep breaths to try and calm down. It had to have been a dream because, obviously, I was no longer on a battlefield. Instead, I was in someone's room, on their bed (didn't really care who due to how my head was too messed up to give two shits). I did know that I hadn't been here before but it somehow felt safe, more like home. The feeling unclouded my mind and made it easier to concentrate. As I took a breath, I noticed there was a familiar and very pleasant scent that filled the room. I was able to recognize it instantly. Suddenly, all the grief and pain from that place returned, hitting me like a ton of bricks. I felt my chest constrict and my heart grow heavy. I felt as though I couldn't breathe, as though the walls were closing in on me. The scent, the room, it all belonged to...

Ryder.

Even after realizing everything that happened was just a nightmare, I still couldn't stop from feeling guilty. Even though it was all in my head, he still died because of me. Everyone gets hurt because of me. My dad got killed because of me. It's always been my fault. I closed my eyes and tried to calm myself but it only made things worse. So lost in my thoughts, I barely noticed two hands touching my face.

"It's ok Jay. Just look at me for a sec. Look at me, please? "A loving voice whispered.

I hesitated but did as I was told. Slowly opening my eyes, my heart stopped for a second as I looked at the person the voice belonged to. There stood the werewolf I had thought I lost, his solemn green eyes gazing into mine. My eyes widened in disbelief. His thumbs caressed my cheeks, attempting to comfort me. I was happy he was here, happy he was alive, but my fear was too much for me to relax. That place seemed too real to be taken lightly. What if it were a sign? I didn't want him to get hurt because of things I had done. Growing up the way I did, it was easier to make stupid decisions. I have had to do things that had, on several occasions, almost got me killed and had gotten me arrested twice. It wasn't my idea of a really good time, but I was angry at the world and needed to find a way to protect my brother. What I did allowed Nat and me to live. Other times, it was because of my mom's stupidity. I guess being an idiot runs in the family, but I wouldn't let Ryder get hurt. I cared about him too much for that. I tensed, taken aback, as a pair of warm lips pressed roughly against mine. I made a surprised noise but found myself kissing back. My chest started to feel at ease. My head had stopped swirling. I was no longer panicking. The only weird feeling was the butterflies in my stomach. I closed my eyes, enjoying the strange sensation. He pulled back slightly, resting his forehead on mine. My wolf whined, upset that he stopped. Hey, Alfred's back! 'Never do that again!' I thought, remembering how he was separated from me in the dream. He whimpered but nodded. I knew he was glad to be back and I kind of missed the little guy. Don't tell anyone I said that. If you do I will kill you, I've killed before. Ok, so maybe it was less me and more Alfred that killed them, but that doesn't mean I won't do it.

"Hey there" he mumbled with a gentle smile

"Hey." I responded, my voice weaker than expected.

“Are you okay?”

I nodded shyly. "W...what happened?" He reluctantly asked.

I shook my head. I didn't really want to talk about it and I hoped he got that. He understood, not pushing the matter any further. Wrapping his arms around me, he pulled me onto his lap with little effort. I blushed, but didn't exactly protest as he held me close, nuzzling his face in the crook of my neck, "Everything's gonna be just fine."

"How do you seem so sure of that?" I whispered.

He smiled against my skin, "Because you're my mate, Little Red. My job is to keep you safe and happy.”