Stealing Beauty

Part 9- Shelter

Tears fell all the way to my brother's house. They lived 45 minutes away. I listened to sad music and let the pain settle in my chest. I would've went to my mother's house, but I didn't want to give her any other reasons to retract her deal of trusting Konnor. Plus, she just lost her husband. We were both emotional, and as much as we clashed, being under the same would not go over well.

I arrived to Ray and Zander's a little before 8 A.M. Karsyn was fidgety and ready to get out of her carseat. I got her out of the truck and gently knocked on the front door. Ray answered seconds later, holding Ryder in her arms.

"Natalie? What brings you here?"

"Konnor and I got into this stupid argument, and I left him." My face fell when I explained. I was filled with regret but I was too stubborn to turn around and go back. Ray ushered me in and grabbed some bags out of my truck. I set Karsyn down and got her out, trying to calm her steady whining. Ray settled us in their guest room. She made me a glass of sweet tea and helped put Karsyn back to sleep.

"So what was the argument about?" She asked. I explained everything, and she even agreed that I was acting irrational. However, she was a woman, and a stubborn one at that, so she also understood why I didn't turn around. I wasn't the type of person to apologize much, even though I know this was my fault. I couldn't stop blaming myself, and I had a right to. But, it was more than just some argument with my fiance...

It was everything in the past. Everything I had done wrong or even regretted, or knew my dad didn't approve of. It was his virtue that was haunting me the most.

"How about this? I'll take the babies to the zoo or something, and you stay here and get some rest. When you get up, we'll go look for Konnor. You look like you got hit by the Drowsy Bus." I shoot Ray a look, but she doesn't look apologetic for her comment. Ray is the most honest person anyone could come across. She never regrets anything she says.

I wish I could be that way.

"I won't be able to sleep. I just can't. It's something about losing dad. Let me go with you."

"Natalie, you need it."

"No, Ray. Trust me, I can't just stay here on my own; I'll go crazy."

She looked at Karsyn for a second, then turned back to me. "Alright. But I swear if you complain of being tired, doze off, or act batshit crazy, I will personally call Zander and make damn sure you get your ass in bed."

I rolled my eyes and smiled at my sister-in-law. "Yes ma'am," I saluted before pulling a change of clothes out of my bag. I quickly changed, got Karsyn ready, and we set out for an adventure.

10 minutes on the road, Ray turned to me. "Do you want to look for Konnor a bit while we're out?"

I thought for a second, biting my lip in deep thought. "I want to, but right now I have nothing to say to him. I'm not in the mood for apologies and sappy romantic 'take me back and forgive me' speeches, ya know? We can subtly look but we're not creating a manhunt here. I have no doubt he's at work anyway."

"True," she said. "We'll just have the day out with the kids and worry about it later."

"Sounds good," I said, leaning back in the passenger seat of her Nissan Altima. We arrived at the zoo soon after and paid for our tickets. The kids were honestly too young for the scene, but it was a change of scenery for Ray and I. But no change of scenery could chase Konnor out of my head.

Everywhere I turned, I expected him to be there. Like he had followed me here to tell me he was sorry and he just wanted to support me. Or he had suddenly changed his profession from mechanic to zookeeper and he forgot to tell me.

As emotional as I was, I imagined what the second scenario would've been like, and how funny and odd it would play out. Konnor tending to the baby elephants, explaining to me that he was going to tell me, but it just wasn't the right time. Besides, how do you even explain to your future wife that you choose the smell of exotic animal manure over gasoline and grease?

Hey babe? I'm trading in my wrench and lug nuts for pooper scoopers and a less-than-mediocre salary?

Sure, honey. Whatever your heart desires.

(Please pause the story to document high levels of sarcasm)

Okay, unpause...

"What's for lunch?" Raylynn asked me as we were admiring the penguins in the arctic section. Karsyn was awake and making noises at the animals. I smiled and looked at her in the stroller.

"Are you Mommie's LIttle Penguin?" I cooed at her, messing with her tummy and chubby fingers. She gave me a tiny little smile, and it melted my heart. It's funny how my daughter's smile could change my perspective on everything.

I was stubborn, yes, and what had happened between me and her father was because of me. I needed to swallow my pride and apologize. I didn't need the situation to get worse between me and him when it was finally getting better, especially for Karsyn's sake. Just because I had a setback, a major one, this was a time when I needed him the most. And even though when I was screaming for him to leave me alone, I was truly screaming for him to pull me closer because I needed him, how could I expect him to know the difference? He was dealing with a confused mid-aged disarranged female, for crying out loud. Poor Konnor...he probably thought he just lost it all over something so petty.

Dammit Natalie!

"Can we get something to go and drive around a bit?" I asked. "I need to look for Konnor."

"Ohhhh," she said, raising her eyebrows. "Finally come to your senses?"

"Yeah sort of," I said, pushing the stroller along. "Let's go."  

***

A.N.- I know it's kinda short and blehh, but we needed a chapter like this, because I promise you, the book won't go uphill for long.

Feces is about to fly off the fan.

Wuttt, Don't ask please. I'm tired.

Anyway, not sure of the next update. Today wasn't a bad day or anything, but I needed to write before bed. So, voila! Chapter 9 is done!

Until next time, fans.

XOXO,

-Lucky8Girl. <3