So first off, I have been going through a bad brake up. I dated this guy for about two months and then he broke up with me basically because of distance.(yeah yeah yeah two months isn't long but we were so much alike we just bonded) I tried my hardest to get back together with him and I just have been getting my heart broken each time. Two to three weeks after he broke up with me, he got with this girl. Now, the day he broke up with me, was the day he went with that same girl two hours away to go have surgery. Suspicious right? We'll not really he told me one week prior to us braking up that he promised her that he would go with her next time. What was I supply to say? No? In a way I wish I could have. Anyways, he started dating that chick. I wouldn't have had a problem with it, but for one, that girl tried to start shit with my best friend and two, started posting stuff about me on twitter calling me a slut and a bitch. So after all hell broke lose he starts to text me saying that he misses me, BUT he is still with this girl. After a while I just wanted to stop crying, over him, over everything. I don't know if he new it or not but he was playing mind games with me and I was sick of it. When that girl broke up with him, it was because of distance.(pay back is a bitch right? I mean that in the nicest way possible) Him and I started talking again, and me thinking that there could be a chance. Boyyy was I wrong. We talked on the phone for about four hours one night, and the next day all I got from him was a hi. That hurt, bad. So, if he wants to talk to me, he's going to have to make the effort. Not just once, or two times or three. If he truly wants me, he will stop at nothing to get with me. But so far he has proven to me that he doesn't. When I figured that out I started to cry again. Then I asked myself why I am crying. It's his loss. So you are probably wondering where I am going with this. And if you have read this far you are probably asking yourself why someone would right this down and why you are still reading. Well, let me tell you. While this whole situation was going on I was doing stuff. Stuff I love, stuff that got him off of my mind, even if it was just for a moment. One thing I did, was get more into training my horse, Monster. When I was with Monster I realized that I was happy, and that I could live my life with out that heartbroken pain. In a way, Monster is like my child, he is my child, I love him as if I would love my own. I am protective over him like I would my own. I realized that he, my horse, was what truly makes me happy. And it will last forever because let's face it, I own him, he's mine, literally. When I saw the bond between me and my horse, it made me tear up. A creature of that nature, so big and powerful, loving a creature who has in the past hurt him in a ways. Sooner or later I realized that I was thinking less of my ex and more of my horse. I think what girls don't realize is that after a brake up, it is ok to have those moments when you don't think about it, what just happened and who you thought once loved you, is now gone from your life. Yeah it's hard but doing stuff to get your mind off of it really helps. Now don't go all crazy doing drugs to ease your pain. That's stupid, when you can find someone better then him. I know it is hard to hear but you will get though it, all you need to do is replace that love, with something you can love even more. Reading, writing, singing, dancing, looking at the stars, training a horse like in my case, whatever it is, it is better then that boy who was stupid enough to let you go.
Thanks for reading. I know it was a little bit hard to understand because I went off topic a lot but I have been keeping this inside for so long, I just need to vent. So thanks for letting me vent to you.
