Of myself there is so much to say,
A ruthless opponent,
Once enraged, always unforgiving.
However, only those ignorant of my upbringing would contend this.
My upbringing consisting of the public school system.
Many a day I spent my lunch with whomever would have me,
Throughout elementary school and middle school.
I was the omega without a pack.
That "awkward", "annoying", "ugly", "pudgy", "loser" kid.
If I had been smart I would have conformed and kept my head down.
As time went on and humiliation became a ritual,
I slowly began to believe those hurtful words
and eighth grade soon drew to a close.
Once, I thought how easy it would be, to take that pill bottle,
My parents kept in the bathroom, and end all the pain.
Some part of me, a part long repressed and forgotten,
Stopped me from carrying out my final act of desperation,
"Don't do it." The Voice ordered.
Why" I challenged it to answer.
It simply said, "You give in,
They succeed.
All you will ever be,
Is that kid that killed himself in eighth grade,
Because he was too big a pussy to handle it."
The Voice was unassailable, deep and booming,
As heir of entitlement with a touch of adversity.
Why should this agony go on? I asked it.
If this is as good as it gets, then what's the point?
"The point is, this isn't as good as it gets,
We have our whole life cut out for us.
And one day you're going to look back
And forgive those who treated you this way."
And with that, the Voice faded and I found myself
In the bathroom with the bottle in my hand,
And a new perspective in my heart.
Epilogue
Afterwards I put the bottle back on the shelf,
And swore to myself and the voice that I would never allow others to affect me that way again.
As I grew older, and better looking, and more confident,
I became that Voice,
The Voice that saved me from making the worst decision of my life,
And instead, made me make the best one I ever made.
