Boys

Chapter 2. Nothing is True

I was standing in my bathroom getting ready for school when the thought of the emerald garment reared its' ugly head for the millionth time today. -Why couldn't I just suggest something less girly?- I thought inwardly groaning. The idea of going out in public with the dress Blaze had bought for me was a nightmare on its' own, but everyone expected me to wear the damn thing so my options were pretty limited at this point. My step mother, Renee, was pleased with the dress and even called Blaze's parents to thank her. My father said that I would look absolutely gorgeous in the thing repeating the same praises that Makoto, Nagisa, Rei, and Blaze had uttered the entire time we shopped. 'It's perfect! You'll look stunning! Absolutely gorgeous!' God I hated those phrases so much! 

I stared, or rather, I glared at the girl in the mirror who was gripping onto her own breasts for some sense of comfort. Her chocolate brown eyes were bright with a mix of hatred and pure confusion as she examined my chest and my bare sex. Her tan face gave way to a set of frowning wrinkles and a look of pure disgust as she continued to stare at my lower body. God I hated the way that girl looked at me like I was sick or mutated. I growled loudly pulling on a pair of boxers to hide myself from her heated gaze and found her eyes drifted up to my bare chest. Her gaze became tired as she examined the small mounds that didn't quite sit right. Another growl passed my lips giving way to a hiss as long tendrils of my soaking auburn hair brushed the warm skin of my back. I grabbed a fist full of the hair looking for scissors when my eyes landed on a roll of tan gauze.

"Well it can't hurt to imagine the image while I have a little time to spare before having to get completely ready..." I muttered to myself.

I picked the gauze up off of my vanity and began to wrap it tightly around my chest flattening the already small bosom as much as possible. One... Two... Three... Four... I continued to count how many times the long strip would wrap around my thing body. A loud frustrated growl escaped my lips as I realized how much I hated pretending to be a girl and my effort to lose the female part became slightly feverish until the end and of the gauze was pinned to my side. I clipped the wrap carefully before adjusting it and making sure everything was covered properly. I looked into the mirror at my work, a small smile playing at my thin lips.

"Now this is what my body should look like... Maybe less here, and more here..." I muttered as I touched the different parts of my body.

A small giggle left my lips as I imagined myself with the correct body parts as I stood back a bit to admire my small build. I was actually pleased with the way I looked in the moment and for a short time I actually thought I could pull off being myself... That is until the wooden door opened suddenly. I quickly grabbed my towel and pulled it around me to hide the gauze and turned to see one of my step sisters in the doorway with a confused expression plastered on her face.

"What are you doing in here Natalie?"

"Nothing, Samantha."

"Bullshit... What are you doing? Is that gauze?!"

I didn't respond to her questions and instead found myself looking down at my feet to avoid her judgmental gaze. At this point it grew silent except the occasional huff of her breath and tap of my foot. -Will she just go already?!- I asked glaring at the ground. Of course, I wasn't lucky enough for something as good as that to happen, because the next thing I know she has grabbed my arm and pulled my towel out of my hands.

"What the hell is this Natalie?!"

"Gauze as you pointed out earlier."

"You are acting like a total freak," she hissed angrily at me before quickly running out of the bathroom.

I took in a sharp breath when her words finally sank in and quickly pulled the gauze wrap from my shaking body. -Why is it so hard for them to see? Why is it so bad for me to just be me? Why can't I be happy for a change? Why do I have to pretend to be someone I'm not while everyone else gets to be real?!- I thought growling loudly at my reflection. I shook my head clenching my fists and stomped out to my room. I changed into a black and purple Hard Rock Cafe t-shirt, and pulled on some black skinny jeans followed by my combat boots. I looked into my full length mirror and pulled my hair back into a tight, high pony tail and sighed softly hearing a rough knock on my door.

"Natalie? It's me, I'm coming in now," a deep voice warned.

I rolled my eyes in irritation and turned around to meet my father's concerned gaze. He was slightly shorter than I was with much darker skin than I have that was wrinkled with age and worry. He was well built, and in this moment his dark brown eyes were gleaming with questions.

"Babygirl... Sam told Renee and I that you were acting strange. Is everything okay?"

"I'm perfectly fine dad. Sam walked in while I was using the restroom."

"I see... Natalie. Are you sure you're alright? You've been acting kind of strange lately."

"I just told you I'm fine Dad..."

He frowned deeply at my resolve, but nodded his head deciding to just leave the whole ordeal at that. I smiled at him happy that he believed me and pecked his cheek lightly just like a daughter should. He grinned as I walked past him and made my way towards the kitchen where a wonderful smell was emitting. There was the smell of bacon, eggs, and toast that filled the air capturing me in a false atmosphere of being in a perfect family. I smiled at the idea of never clashing with Renee, at the idea of loving my sisters, at the idea of being who I should be, and of being with HIM. I walked over to the cabinets and grabbed a plate loading it with some of the delicious looking food, but not before meeting the glares of Keelie, Samantha, and Renee. My grin falters as my heart fell into my stomach watching the illusion shatter. -Why can't I have happiness too?- I thought feeling tears threaten to spill. I took a deep breath to steady myself telling myself everything is fine, but deep inside I knew it wasn't... Everything was just a lie...