The Way of the Nerd
by
Tasman Rosenfeld
Many people don’t realize that nerds, because of their obvious intelligence and different style and approach to life, are the coolest people on the planet. Those who realize this immediately want to be a nerd. However, if you want to be accepted into nerd society, you must open your mind to a new way of thinking. If mastered, nerd attire, accessories, and behavior, will open your mind to the nerd world. Make sure you follow the laws of this state of mind.
The attire of a nerd is fascinating. It is also essential to know it to be a true nerd. For tops, nerds typically wear a three-button, solid color polo, a sci-fi T-shirt, or a lateral striped T-shirt or polo. For bottoms, nerds typically wearbaggy jeans, khaki pants, or cargo shorts. Nerds usually wear suspenders and glasses as clothing accessories. If you followed these clothing guidelines, you should start looking like a nerd.
Nerds also have accessories for their rooms and other personal places. Star Wars/Star Trek paraphernalia, cryptozoological creature models and figures, and video - gaming posters are good examples. Nerds also have toys and electronic devices that they play with: X-boxes or Playstations, sci-fi action figures, and a laptop optimized for sci-fi game play. Nerds love playing board games and card games; they typically play Magic the Gathering and Dungeons and Dragons. After you find the instructions on how to play these games, you’ll be able to play at local gaming stores with your friends. After you have re-accessorized your life nerd-style, you are an almost complete nerd.
Now that you have the physical nerd lifestyle down, you must learn how to behave like a nerd. If you are not one of the most intelligent people in your cohort, get smarter. When hanging out with friends, talk about sci-fi media. At group gatherings, sit alone or with other nerds. When in trouble, you must always accept your punishment and never attempt to escape it. Not only that, but you should sit in the corner. When confronted by the “cool” kid, spout random quotes from sci-fi movies to avoid discomfort. If quoting films does not help, you must learn the art of Aikido. All true nerds practice some sort of martial art.
Once you sense the Way of the Nerd, you are on the path to Nerd-dom. Learning about the fascinating culture of the nerd is a mindblowing experience. Whether it be the attire, the accessories, or the behavior, nerds always live up to their expectations. Live long and prosper on your road to becoming a nerd. And one more thing....may the Force be with you....
