My hearts become too cold to break .::ELY::.

To Be Honest.

Richard is finally out of my house completely and I bust out a bottle of Whiskey I some how managed to hide from him all these years, and I finally open it.
"Well I guess we're drinking again,"Keith says.
"You don't have to, you guys pretty much know where everything is, you can stay sober of you choose I however want to get so drunk I pass out" I say before taking a shot straight from the bottle.
"Well you can't drink alone," Eugene says taking the bottle from me to take a drink.
"You guys are just gonna drink straight whiskey?" Becky asks.
Eugene shrugs.
"Well I mean I could mix it with something, do you want some? I have coke" I say she nods and I get up to make some mixed drinks. Tonight won't be much different from how Eugene and I usually hang out, we usually only hang out if it involves alcohol, to be honest; but I wouldn't have it any other way, really just having a good friend to drink with is perfectly okay. I turn on some music and go back to sit with the group.
"We should move this to the basement!" Ariel suggests which wouldn't be a bad idea we just sound proofed it because I'm turning it into my recording spot for my personal YouTube channel. So we move the party downstairs and crank up the music and it turns into a real party more people show up, mostly people from work, and their friends. We dance with the bass beating around us, it almost feels like once you walk through the door and down the stairs you enter a night club, the music is so loud you can't hear the person next to you, and the alcohol just keeps coming. It's great, and just what we need after such a bad day. At some point in the night I'm drinking an entire bottle of UV Blue by myself while somehow managing to dance with everyone, I'm so far gone at this point.
Eugene takes the bottle from me and holds it over his head saying something along the lines of "you've had enough"
I reach for it but I obviously can't reach it, he's got like 6 inches on me, and my brain does that thing where it associates a current event to a memory and makes you remember whether or not you want to, and the strong facade I had managed to keep all day just completely shatters. Simply because Richard and I used to mess around like this all the time when the days were good, and I start crying and when Eugene notices and goes to pull me in for a hug I just push him away and go upstairs, no one notices.

I sit on the couch with Freakshow in my lap letting me cry into his shoulder I hear someone come up the steps and sit up and wipe my eyes. Zach sits next to me.
"You don't have to pretend to be strong around me Beau," he says," I've seen you cry so many times already, although you have Eugene pretty freaked out" he laughs a little.
I smile,"I don't know what's wrong with me, Zach, we were so happy, but I guess he was just like everyone else,"
Zach wraps and arm around me and pulls me into his side.
"The problem isn't you Beau," he says.
"Every relationship ends the same way," I say choking back more tears.
"Hey it's your party you shouldn't be up here crying, come on, boys are shit, you know this, but there are men down there that care about you and I know one personally who would love your company" he says I look at him,"trust me on this one, come on" Zach pulls me up and back downstairs he snatches my bottle back from Eugene and gives it back to me and we take a shot before he hands me the bottle and he turns on Partition by Beyoncé, and walks back over to me as the song starts, this is what best friends are for. Zach dances with me, and Zach can't dance but it's great, I temporarily forget all about Richard and all the fun things we did. Zach and I just dance around like nerds who can't dance, which is pretty accurate anyway. I catch Eugene staring at me from the corner of my eye.
"Why does Eugene keep staring at me?" I ask Zach  having to yell in his ear.
"Um, I can't tell you," he yells back I turn around and stare back at Eugene until he looks away pushing himself off of the wall he stalks away upstairs.
"You should go see what's wrong with him," Keith yells appearing out of nowhere with Ned at his side.
"Nah he seemed mad, and I don't want to deal with that," I shout I watch Ned and Keith visibly sigh, and  give in following Eugene up the stairs, very drunkenly I might add.
"What are you doing up all alone party pooper?" I ask Eugene, who is currently leaning against my kitchen counter in a way that and only be defined as Eugeney, you know that stance that just screams I should be a model, but I secretly hate myself.
"I just needed space," he says I  nod.
"Yeah it's pretty cramped down there," I slur,"so why have the guys been acting like they're trying to set us up together?"
"Because they are?" He says.
"Oh, well in that case I'll leave to your space and I'll see you at work on Monday" I say backing away from the entire situation. Instead of going back downstairs to the party I make my way to my bedroom, and pass out on my bed. Problem successfully avoided, until Monday morning.

Monday morning.

Keith is filming his newest addition to 'why aren't we dating' featuring you guessed it Eugene and I.
"So tell us about your friendship," Keith says after an awkward introduction.
"We pretty much just drink and attempt to be the others wing man."I say,"although having Eugene as a wing man never works because literally everyone is interested in him more than me."
Eugene just smiles and rolls his eyes,"I was very effective for Zach thank you."
We get through the question part and go back to work trying to decide what to do for our "romantic" date.
"I really just want to stay locked up in my house and never come out," I say to Eugene from across our desks,"feel free to join me or go on the date yourself"
"How, correction, when did you become so cold?" He asks pulling his headphones off.
"Excuse me?" I ask probably giving him the dirtiest look ever.
"You heard me. When you started here you were literally so bubbly, cheerful, and trusting almost to the point where being in these room as you gave me a headache," he says,"what happened?"
"Well someone can give so much of themselves away before there's nothing left," I say,"when did you start caring about anything I do?"
"I always have, you're one of my best friends," he says,"do you not consider me a best friend?"
"To be honest no," I say standing up, I walk to the kitchenette thing on our floor and refill my cup of coffee. When I come back to my desk Eugene has his headphones on again, and he won't look at me.
" what did you do to Eugene?" Zach asks leaning over.
"I broke his spirit with the truth," I say.
"Beau, you have a heart stop it," Zach says rolling his eyes,"everyone else may be blinded by your tough girl act, I see it as it is an act. So chill,"
"I don't know what you're talking about Zach," I say putting my headphones on and continue working on my newest video.