I love you

Don't go

His eyes, mouth, hair, his everything. I want to remember him before this happen. This is my fault not this is all my fault I'm sorry. 

I stared at him for hours hoping that he would wake up anytime soon. He's just laying there, looking so lifeless with all those needles in him. The sound of the machine beeping and the smell of medicine sickens me. His hands feels so  cold like he has no blood flowing through him. WHY HIM? Out all of the people who were on the road that day why does it have be him?

The doctor doesn't know when he would wake up. He could be out cold for a few days or a few months. I have been by his side since we were 5. He would protect me like an older brother and I would annoy him like a little sister would do. I haven't left his side for 16 years and I won't leave him now not like this. I spend my time at the hospital all day never leaving his bed side. I'm too afraid that he would wake up and I won't be there for him.

He is my best friend and the love of my life. I was suppose to tell him on that day but I never did get to tell him how I feel. I ran my fingers through his soft brown hair. " Hey do you remember the time that you shave your hair off because you lost the bet to me 3 years ago? You wore a beanie for the whole year just because you were embarrass of your baldness." A little giggle escape my lips. We shared a lot of memories together for the pass 16 years.

"I remembered the time when I got  bullied by a guy when we were 10. The guy was older and quite bigger than you. But you still fought him off. He punched you in the face and gave you a black eye and scar to remember. Your mom was mad because you fight with a senior and your dad was proud of you for having my back. Its kinda weird why you would protect me even though I'm always causing trouble for you. you are always there for me. always." The scar on his eyebrow is still there to this day. He told me that it reminds him that he was brave and that he would protect me from anything and anyone, anywhere.

A tear rolled down my cheek, I wiped it off but a tear become stream. "Don't leave me you idiot, you promise me that you would be for me always. So don't break your promise. please, don't leave I love you to much. so please stay with me forever." I sobbed. I cried for hours beside him. wanting him to wake up. I wanted to wake up from this nightmare but  I know this is reality and I don't want to accept this. Then I fell asleep crying.

I woke up when a nurse was doing he daily rounds. She told me his heart rate is normal and that I should go home and rest. But I don't want to go home and rest I just want to be here with him when he wakes up I want to be there. So he knows that he is never alone. 

I could hear his breath through his breathing mask. His hands are bigger than mine and rougher too. I started crying again just by looking at him. " I'm sorry, I'm sorry it's all my fault that you are here on this bed with all these needles sticking in you. I shouldn't told you to see meet me at the cafe, i should've told you over the phone and non of this would've happen to you. I'm sorry, so sorry, sorry." I placed his hand at my cheek like when he would do to me when I cry. "You know what you always been so emotional since the day we met." I smiled and started crying all over again.