It's time to pack up anything that could hold me back and just leave it somewhere. But where could I leave it?
Somebody said that having baggage from life's experiences could keep you from happiness in your present and future. I've always thought and accepted that my life's experiences wasn't quite baggage but what God set me to do and allowed me to go through so that I can be who I am today and tomorrow. That's what I've always believed.
Seldom do I take on anyone elses theory of how I can make it in life, because they are not God, but of the flesh and certainly has their own baggage to be concerned with. But one day I got to considering what if I really had baggage that needed to be identified and then left it somewhere for real... I couldn't really think of what my baggage could be because the things I've experienced in life always seemed to include the people I love, so it was like, how to you leave that behind?
I decided I was going to at least try to see if I could identify and perhaps even just leave it, and I decided the airport may be the absolute best place.
Cause see this is no ordinary bag of tricks, no. It's filled with unwanted feelings, memories that I could benefit from not even remembering ; well some of them and pain that no painkiller would ever be capable of killing.
I used to believe that I had a good hold on these things, but what I've realized is that I've been holding on to them... a bit too tightly.
My life has been filled with so much negativity. People on the outside looking in wouldn't be able to believe me, because I've done so well to pack up those things and experiences, put them so far out of sight, that I even forget they exist. Except when something reminds me of it...
That is until someone says, "Are you married?" or " You're such a nice person, I know your husband loves you... he's one lucky man." Then I realize that even without a ring on my finger, people don't see my life as I see it.
So today (actually this writing is a few years old by now), I've had enough of wondering...Enough of laughing it off and saying, "No, I'm not even married. I don't have a husband, yet." It's time for me to put all of this shit in a case and bid it farewell.
Before you read this, understand these are my real life experiences. Not too personal enough not to share, because my testimony is bound to help someone who is dealing with something similar. I have no shame and I have in actuality no anger of what I've experienced. Though my life has had negativity in it, I've always and still do manage to see the good in all things. All glory to God.
I must also say, that there isn't a friend on this planet that knows these things of my life, none can say yeah she told me about that or I was with her when it happened, none but my God who is with me always.
In the next pages you'll read excerpts of my life that I firmly believe I had to experience to help me be who I am today. I currently and have always had contentment of my life, I hate the world but I love my life because God gave me my life to do His marvelous works.
