Every thing was perfect.
All those years, I have longed to have someone like him. The man I have ever wished. The simplicity of being complex at most times, were felt because of intense emotions. The excitement, the longing, the kisses that are dearly missed, all came to an end.
A regular student on my 2nd year of studying in college. A man who has the same amount of pressure that everyone feels when a deadline is made for an assignment. A student who has his academic obligations in order to achieve something to make his parents proud. In short, I’m just an ordinary guy, living my college life. I came from a municipality merely far away from where I am studying yet, it was all worth it.
At first, I merely attend classes due to my irritating feeling towards my classmates. I find them amusing but annoying. Others are just geeky enough to get a grade of 99. The remaining were just students, going to school just to have their allowance. I am obliged to have my grade as high as I can. I set standards to prove to myself that I am worthy enough of going into this institution.
Boring enough to make me think of quitting school, I find my subjects easy to be hard. All requires tremendous effort and time to be passed or submitted. I thought, this was really a burden for me, making me wish to graduate as soon as I can or, to take non baccalaureate courses that will get me a job, that provides not a handful of salary but, enough for me to survive. Everything wasn’t turning out alright when I first graduated high school. Others told me that, college was fun and a fast paced stage of schooling. But it’s not. It’s like, going back to my freshmen year, taking up subjects as boring as hell because of its repetitive cycle.
‘Til I got on my second year- where it all started.
My friends and I are still betting on some guys and girls, the same age as ours. One of the girls in our group, Nina, is still dreaming of her dream guy to come to life. While others, are still on the medieval age, meaning, no boyfriend since birth. And I, myself, am still wondering why did I belong to this kind of group, where all of them are girls. Well of course, I find women very punctual with regards to school commitments which I find very helpful to student like me who is a not-so-pursuant boy that has a standard that can be impossible for me to achieve. Well I guess, that’s what friends are for. Sometimes.
During this college year of mine, our group was telling me to participate in pageants held in our school because they find my face very attractive and very masculine. Of course at first, I didn’t believe them and I am really looking for an angle on my face where I find it, attractive. This is a strange feeling of mine that I disregarded. For most times, we gather and go out together and usually eat lunch at the mall. Also, hitting every stores that sell the most fashionable outfits for men and for women. Again, I found this unusual but still, disregarded.
After our early state of being mallrats, we go back to school and attend classes which often last until 7 in the evening. Tired of having everyday like this, I am becoming more persevering as I was before I joined them.
One day when we were about to have our class in one of my subjects, Philosophy, I was very bored and didn’t want to attend because of the upcoming discussion. I’m sure most of us feel the same way, too. Suddenly, my professor was excused by the dean, talking to him as if it’s a major concern for him and to our classmates.
Then, they finished.
My professor said that we are going to have a new classmate and who will be staying only for this semester. Our professor announced that it was a guy. Most of the girls in our room began to be curious, asking what he looks like, what is his name, where was his previous alma matter and what could be his age. In short, they were interested. In our group, they find it very strange that girls are still murmuring and began to feel so much excitement when they heard of the transferee. I frankly and proudly said that, I’m more handsome than the transferee. Boasting of my appearance, some of my barkadas agreed. Some, didn’t, although it was a normal expression.
Two days have passed and our class in Philosophy is yet to come. I have to attend because there will be a quiz worth 40 points. I have to strive hard and give a good impression to my teacher, for me to pass. I reviewed well. Before we started, my professor was again, excused by the dean. It took them only a little time to talk.
Finalizing some words, they finished talking and my professor came in, leaving the door open. We told him to close it but he said, “the transfer student will attend his first day of class today.” We got excited and felt somehow, awkward because of this newbie belonging in our class.
He slowly entered the room and… There he was. I was astonished in some way, freaking myself out, and asking, why am I feeling like this. As if somehow, I saw a sexy lady entered our room. But it’s a guy! I glanced at him well, having a look at his angelic face, fair skin complexion and about 5’8’’. I hurriedly ran into the CR and had myself refreshed for what I felt was extremely strange.
As this semester goes by, he familiarized himself towards others. And he chose to be in our group. We were only two boys belonging to it so somehow, we got close. We frequently eat together when the girls aren’t around and peeked on other girls in our school, as if, we were chick hunting. But this feeling of mine, began being strange. I am not happy with the girls I’m seeing and lost time for my other barkadas, except for him. I find it very light and amusing when we’re together.
At most times, we were together, even when it’s too late after our class has ended. Problems were shared and some confidential information’s were being discussed and suggested. We jived without giving it much time. As if, we developed a strange bond comparable to a covalent bond. This Jeremy of ours is beginning to be, my daily motivation..
Through good times and bad time, we seem to have a connection that is yet to unfold. I’m having deep and sincere feeling towards him, as if I was falling already for him. The feeling became mutual and I began to be sincere in most times that he needed me for something. I definitely wanted him to be by my side as long as we can, making me realize my true personality beyond my identity..
The most exciting part of my school life happened during an activity of ours that lasted up to 9 PM. We were all exhausted after having this activity that used up all our energy in preparations until it ended where all of us were required to help. After fixing the chairs that have been used, we were about to go home because the mall is already closed. Our barkada are packing things up and getting ready to leave for we were already the last batch to go home. But, Jeremy forgot something that is very important to him in our room. That is located in room 2A-C where most of our classes are held. I accompanied him and left others waiting. As we walked by, I glanced at him, looking so stressed and afraid- afraid not to find that possession of his.
Reaching the second floor, he felt more tensed and worried as if, he will never find what he’s about to look for. That is, a picture of him with his family posted on a project that was submitted three days ago. We’ve looked for it and found nothing. He came to a point where he gave up and let the picture of him and his mom lost. He began to cry. As he cried, I immediately comforted him. Telling him that some good things never meant to last. And still, I failed. I began to feel the strangest thing that urges from within. My heart, telling me to give him a hug that might comfort him and might comfort me as well.
Feelings emerged.
Thinking’s lost.
I immediately gave him a hug- a hug so tight, longing for something that found it’s missing piece.
Then, I blacked out. Stared at him, making his face, to face mine. Nearer and nearer, I got so lost and I gave him a kiss..
A kiss that wasn’t supposed to be for him but told me that it was meant for him.
A kiss that gave me the first and everlasting meaning of love.. That love chooses no age, no barriers, no time, no chances, no fate, no ifs, not buts.
A love that chooses no gender.
A kiss that ended up everything between us, but started everything about me. To fully know my personality. And that I have to be proud of it. I am Lance and this is my tragic and unimaginable yet, true and unique love story.
