Hayden's choice

chapter nine

my whole life I was told what to do, how I act and what to eat. but for the first time in my life, I can make a decision of my own. a decision I get to choose. when I chose adoption I thought it was the best the choice. and maybe it is. I called Andrew yesterday to tell him the sex, when i told him he quickly retorted "well it doesn't matter now does it, you're gonna give it away to a family whose in it for nothing but the money." frozen silent I stood, he hung up. what was I suppose to do? the one person I counted on to really be there, is bailing on me. so I called kayla and asked her to come over, so she said she'd be over there in a few. I wish my brother was here. when kayla got there, I noticed that she had books of baby names in her arm. "uh what is that?" I said. she replied, "name books silly." so as we laid in my floor looking at possible names, I decided that if I do give my little one up for adoption, i should at least be able to name her, so she can have some part of me with her. what bout darla?" I looked at her like he was crazy my child is not a seventy year old woman. I know kayla secretly wishes she was able to lay in my floor and pick out baby names for her own. I ultimately decided of Brooklyn Hope. Brooklyn for my grandmas name, and hope, because no matter what, she'll always be my hope to succeed.

it was time to meet possible adoption parents. and it seemed like every time I met someone, I didn't like them, I don't know why, I just didn't. I didn't like that a stranger was gonna raise my child. after two months of struggling I pick a couple I am now seven moths pregnant. I finally picked a couple. a sweet little couple who is unable to have a child. I am huge by this point and every where I go people stare. I talk to Andrew every now and then. he comes more distance. more craving I getting worse. I made my brother go in the middle of the night and get ice cream and crackers. putting the ice cram and crackers together have never tasted so good. looking at the ultra sound you can now see that my baby girl is getting all big. I give the adoptive parents a picture of the ultra sound every time I go.

now it was time I write, I will write Brooklyn a letter, a letter that I will tell the adoptive parents to give to her when she's 17. so she knows that I love her, that I'm doing what is best for her. I laid in my for hours thinking of what to say to her. and out of now where it finally hit me, and when I started writing, I couldn't stop...