Russia Writing

Do Svadanya

My hand shook slightly as I raised the gun to my temple, I was nervous but I hoped it worked. Perhaps if I do this it will work, compared to when others tried and failed. I was already in so much pain I could handle a little more, after all it won't compare to the pain I feel every time I remember that she's gone and that he left me. Of course I was too scared to tell them how I felt. She died and he loves someone else. "Do svadanya." I whispered and closed my eyes. I squeezed the trigger and felt burning pain, but no relief. I was still here, I was still alive. There's no escape from this terrible exustance that is the life of a country, and it will never end until I am either dissolved or conquered......why can't it end already.....