My five protective brothers

-7-

TRIGGER WARNING!! You have been warned

Ali's POV

Why did he have to come for me? Why can't I have just jumped 30 seconds before? It could all be over now, I wouldn't have to live this horrible life anymore.

I'm never forgiving Callum for as long as I live. That's probably a lie, but honestly he will suffer and I will make sure of it.

When we arrived home, finally! I ran straight to my room and cried.

You know what I hate the most, that Callum has always been there for me, through my depression and the loss of my mother, he knew that I blamed myself for it and he promised me and told me he'd never blame me for the death of mother, but I guess people lie and promises are broken.

Flashback~~

I looked at my self in the mirror, tears streaming down my face. My eyes blotchy and red. I reached above my bathroom cabinet grabbing one of my razors, I looked at it and dragged it across my wrists at least 18 times on each arm. I looked at my scarred legs and dug the razor into my thigh, not caring how deep it went. My screams getting louder, I sat on the edge of the bath tub, the razor sliding across my thighs, my sobs filling the air.

"Alison open this door right now!" Callum shouted, banging on the door. I just sobbed louder, but ignored his calls.

I stood back up watching the blood run down my thighs and wrists, why can't I just die already?

I smiled to my self, I opened ny cabinet. Taking out a bottle of pills, and popped them open, I poured them into my hands I looked at them, I was about to put them into my mouth when the bathroom door came flying off and Callum looked at the empty pill bottle along with the splatters of blood on the floor and suddenly his eyes snapped to me, he smacked the pills out of my hand.

"ALI DID YOU TAKE ANY?" He screamed, shaking me. I wasn't crying anymore, I felt numb.

"No." I sighed, and I suddenly drifted off to sleep hearing very distant calls from my twin. I could still hear his cries.

"Ali, please don't do this wake up, please. You have to listen to me Ali... Mum wouldn't want this!" He sobbed. I forced my eyes open and looked at him.

"It's my fault she's gone, if she was coming to see my dance performance she wouldn't have died." I sobbed, my eyes closing again.

I don't know what happened but the next thing I know, I'm getting lowered into the bath with a shaky touch, with freezing cold water blasting at me. I felt hands around my waste. I felt warm, I just want to sleep.

"Ali please you have to wake up, HARRY! BOYS!" He screamed rubbing the cold water over my arms and thighs, his hand shaking wild.

I heard all the boys running into the room, I woke up as soon as they did.

"Why Ali?" Callum said, stroking my hair while kissing my head.

"It's my fault she's gone Callum, it's all my fucking fault and I can't live with that." I cried.

"It wasn't your fault Ali, mum didn't have to go to your dance competition. You wasn't the one driving the other car was you, no. So stop beating your self up about it, because it wasn't your god damn fault. I bet mums looking down on your right now, telling you to stop this. Because it wasn't your fault Ali, it never will be. And I shall make sure that if anyone blames you. I will kill them, because you need to understand that it wasn't your fault I'm repeating my self because I'm being serious Ali, I love you with all my heart. So please, please stop beating your self up about it." Callum said, his voice breaking.

I looked at him tears spiking my eyes and same with him, I looked at my other brothers.

"And I promise you that you are not alone!" He said and hugged me, his tears falling into my shoulders. I don't think he cares that I'm only in my under wear. I turned around and hugged him. My mascara dripping on to his light blue t-shirt. I felt safe.

Flashback over~~

He lied to me, he promised me that it wasn't my fault. But I've realised now, he was only telling me that it wasn't my fault because I was so young but I guess I'm older now and he's finally got to tell me what he's always wanted to say.

I laid on my bed, staring at the ceiling my eyes aching from crying. I went to the bathroom, looking at my self in the mirror and I laughed. Laughed. I looked down at my wrist and I laughed again. I have no idea why I'm laughing, I'm crazy.

I laughed harder and suddenly rage took over me and I punched the mirror, watching it shatter.

I looked at my knuckles to see them bleeding, I washed my hands and looked at the shattered glass, I looked at them, and before I could even register what was happening I had the glass sliding across my wrists. I quickly stopped my self, and chucked the piece of mirror down the toilet. I looked down at my wrist to see 6 wounds seeping with blood. I got a bandage from the cabinet and covered it up, I looked at the floor to see it was covered with shattered glass and blood. I sighed deeply, and walked back into my room. I looked up to see Ashton, Hunter, Harry and Jake all staring at me with sympathy.

"Ali, we are so sorry" they all tried to apologise, they blamed me too. They didn't stop him!

"Save it and Just go, I don't care" I said, my heart breaking at my words. But I don't care.

"Ali please listen to us." Harry sobbed, I laughed.

"Honestly, you stood there watch him hit me. Let him say that it's all my fault. And you expect me just to forgive him? It doesn't work like that? Please tell me who was in the wrong earlier, I was dancing nothing happened and then him, he humiliated me, HE BLAMED ME FOR THE DEATH OF OUR MOTHER AND YOU DIDNT EVEN BATTER AN EYE LID YOU LET HIM STAND THERE AND HIT ME YOU LET HIM BREAK MY HEART. YOU EVEN TOLD ME IT WASN'T MY FAULT WHY DO I GET BLAMED NOW. I actually hate you all, just leave before I do something I seriously regret." I shouted, my voice cracking at the end. "Also of you see Callum, tell him not to speak to me ever again." I growled, yes growled. Do I care? No.

"Ali..." Hunter said, stepping closer.

"JUST GO, I need to sleep." I said, waking towards the door, opening it and making them leave. I slammed the door after them, I lent against the door and sat on the floor, my bag resting against the door. My knees to my chest and my hands resting on my knees along with my head. I did the only thing I could do and cried, wanting my mum to come home and tell me everything is okay, or at least my dad. I miss him.

I must have sat on the floor for about 10 minutes and I felt my self falling into a deep sleep....

Authors note
Im sorry for the long update and stuff and I know this chapters really deep but I had to update, I love you all and Thankyou for reading and getting me to 1000 reads ❤️