Husband says; "When I'm gone you'll never find another man like me".
Wife replied; "What makes you think I'd want another man like you!"
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Two friends visit a Stadium.
First: Why are all these people running?
Second: This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
First: If only winner will get the cup, why are others running?
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Dad: Shame on you, Jimmy. Why did you hit your little sister?
Jimmy: Well, Daddy, we were playing Adam and Eve with the apple and all. Well, instead of tempting me with that apple, she ate the thing herself!
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At a nerd wedding they don't say, "I do."
They say, "I accept the terms and conditions."
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A Husband and wife were on an African Safari when a lion suddenly dragged Rabri with his jaws.
Wife: Shoot him, Shoot him!
Husband: Wait! Wait! Let me change the battery of my camera.
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Harry, to the physics department. "Why do I always have to give you guys so much money, for laboratories and expensive equipment and stuff. Why couldn't you be like the math department - all they need is money for pencils, paper and waste-paper baskets. Or even better, like the philosophy department. All they need are pencils and paper."
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A fellow was very much in love with a beautiful girl. One day she told him that the next day was her birthday. He told her he would send her a bouquet of roses... one for each year of her life.
That evening he called the local florist and ordered twenty-one roses with instructions that they be delivered first thing the next morning.
As the florist was preparing the order, he decided that since the young man was such a good customer, he would put an extra dozen roses in the bouquet.
The fellow never did find out what made the young girl so angry with him.
