Daddy

Still Here In Our Hearts

(Dedicated to Carlton Smith, dad, friend, father)

Carlton Smith, like most of us is a person who has been through a lot of painful things, yet he managed to keep going no matter what life threw at him, using laughter as a way to keep from breaking down. For thirty years he has been working as a CNA at the four major hospitals in Greensboro North Carolina, except . . . except when a major health issue kept him from coming in, asthma. The story I'm about to tell is how a seemingly routine bout of asthma turned all of our lives upside down. Whenever Carlton had an asthma attack he'd call into work and they'd tell him to stay home . . . well this time it was a little different, when he called in this time, he was told to go to the hospital and when he did, he found out he had the big C. Yep, cancer, and not just any cancer; pancreatic cancer. The doctor of course explained that it could be removed with a four hour surgery and gave him the date. Finally the day arrived and he was wheeled away as his family and friends waited. Time went by and four hours became eight, eight because ten, then twelve until finally fourteen hours later, he was wheeled back out, the surgery was a success! Now he had to recover. You'd think he had enough to deal with, but as he lay in a hospital bed, recovering, his bosses came to inform him that they'd given his job to someone else. Now Carlton knew he'd probably never be working there again anyway, but it would have been better if he'd been dealt this blow when he was strong enough to deal with it. Never the less, he fought on, strengthening his body for the long road to walking, eating and just being normal again after major surgery. Finally he was released, though he had to do chemo and radiation treatment to make sure the cancer didn't return and for a while it didn't. He enjoyed being cancer free for a short time, but then the treatments stopped and the cancer return with a vengeance, moving to his liver and lungs. Carlton lived his life as normally as he could, but one day he was convinced to move into a nursing home after nearly falling. The staff at the nursing home were helpful and supportive, but Carlton still prayed to go Home.  He had many experiences some good, some bad, but the loss of his independence colored many of them. The major light at the time were the friends and family who came to support him, showing him that he wasn't alone. Time was running out, though no one knew at the time just how quickly. He was no eating and drinking, spending most of his time sleeping to escape the pain. One day he woke up, to the agonizing feeling of not being able to breathe and though help came for him, he had signed a DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) form and soon he passed from life into the peaceful arms of his Father. His final day was November 7, 2011. On November 8, 2011 his pain was ended. I as well as so many others were blessed to share this journey with him, were blessed to see his strength and faith as he went through something  that anyone would hope to never face and everyone who encountered him was left changed in some small way for the better. My name is Shontay Smith and I was one of those blessed enough to call this man my dad. Carlton Smith, I know you cried tears of guilt at the end, believing that you were failing your children, but you gave us more than words could ever say with your loving heart, generous spirit and wise advice. You are loved and missed more than you will ever know and our lives are better just for having you in it.

A special thanks to the wonder staff at the Beacon Place Nursing Home on Summit Avenue in Greensboro North Carolina and to those who became our family before, during and after my dad's passing. You truly are angels on earth. Happy Father's Day, daddy, your imprint in our lives and hearts is still as strong as now as it was when you were here.