Parivara: Story of a Family

24 : Unbearable

In the next two days, Aditi and Vishu did not speak to each other, and neither did Divya and Rakesh. The men were busy tying up the loose ends of the business in the new province, working closely with the sisters' father, and the sisters themselves were mostly just miserable. Each couple would have to see each other every night during the many dinner parties held in celebration of the new province, and each moment spent so close yet so far was completely unbearable for everyone.

The men would keep straight faces in front of the women, but when they were by themselves they were just as miserable as Divya and Aditi. Rakesh couldn't sleep no matter how hard he tried, and instead he'd be up all night working and tearing his hair out. Vishu couldn't help it; if he was alone, he'd start to cry, something he hadn't done since he was a little orphan boy. It was the only way he could sleep at night, if he cried himself into it.

The third night, another dinner party was well under way, and Divya wanted to leave early again. She was bothered by every little thing, and she didn't know how much longer she could last, but Maa kept insisting she talk to more socialites. As one of these old socialites talked Divya's ears off, her eye wandered around in distraction. Accidentally, Divya's eyes caught hold of Rakesh's.

The two stared at each other, unsure if they should turn away or who should do it first. They could both see that the other was sleep deprived and probably hadn't eaten in days. They both looked so full of grief, that Divya couldn't help it. One single tear fell down her cheek.

She quickly wiped it away, looking down as she did so. When she looked back up, Rakesh had already turned away. She swallowed, sighed, and turned away as well.

The second Maa was distracted, Divya vanished from the dinner hall. She quickly made her way to her bedchambers and collapsed in the seat in front of her vanity mirror. She rubbed her tired and weepy eyes, making them redder. She picked herself up and changed into a more comfortable sleeping lehenga before sitting back down in front of the mirror. She undid her hair, and looked at herself in the mirror, hating the sight. She sniffled and began to undo one of her earrings before she was picked up off her chair and turned roughly around.

Rakesh grabbed her face and kissed her hungrily, Divya wrapping her own arms around him. They broke apart and Divya lay her head on his shoulder, letting all her tears and weeps out. Rakesh held her strongly in his arms, even as she shook with her bawling. He weeped without tears, only breathing heavily as if he'd been choking and was only catching his breath now.

He held her at arms length and shook her as he said, "Don't you ever tell me to stop loving you again, do you understand? I will never stop loving you. Even when I die, I will love you, and I will keep loving you until I come back for our next life together. Understand?"

Divya nodded, her face still streaked with tears. Rakesh kissed her eyes, her wet cheeks, and her quivering mouth once more, holding her body against his where it belonged. He carried her to her bed and they both lay down on it, Divya shivering in his arms and Rakesh comforting her. They fell asleep like that, finally accepting this was the only way to be.

***

It was the next day, and Aditi had had enough of sewing and misery. She was running around the castle, looking for Vishu. She checked the fields, the many offices, the stables, even where Papa was. She couldn't find him anywhere.

As she was giving up, she decided to check the one place she usually never found him: his room. She sprinted over, and knocked on the closed door. Vishu opened it a minute later, dressed in his night clothes and rubbing sleep from his red eyes.

"You're just waking up now?" She blurted out, unsure what to start with.

"It's only just after breakfast time," Vishu replied coolly. He finished rubbing his eyes and looked at her with mixed confusion and anger.

"Well," Aditi said trying to gather her thoughts. She pointed a finger in his face and stood very close to him, trying to show her anger. "I'm tired of this game you're playing. You said you don't want to be childish, but that's exactly what you're doing. We both know we need to talk to each other, and I am trying to do just that, but you're avoiding me and the situation."

"And what situation is that?" Vishu asked, crossing his arms and stepping forward. He was very close, and Aditi felt like the weaker one now. She put her finger down and tried to stand up as straight as she could.

"Whatever is between us."

"And what is that?" Vishu repeated, his arms still crossed.

"You know!" Aditi argued, annoyed now. Suddenly, Vishu grabbed her and pulled her into his room. He quickly shut his door and pushed her up against it, standing in front of her with his face very close to hers.

"What I know is that you are the girl I married, the one I'm tied to for the rest of my existence. I also know you do not see me as the boy you married, but a servant boy you wasted time with. So tell me, which scenario did you want to discuss?"

His words simultaneously hurt her and sent shivers down her spine. "You know I don't think of you as time wasted."

"Do I know that?" He answered with a question, staring deeply into her eyes. "Why can't you just be honest with me and with yourself, Aditi? You stop this game, you're the only one who can."

He took a small step back, only enough so their faces weren't too close, but his eyes were still on hers. She didn't know how to answer, so instead she threw her arms around him. Vishu stood stiffly for a moment before awkwardly wrapping his own arms around her and reciprocating her hug. They stood like that for a while, in silence. Vishu knew she needed to think, and she was using this time to do so. But it took him a moment to realize she was crying.

"I don't know anymore," she said against his shoulder. "I want you. I want you so badly it hurts me. But I have to protect you. If we are caught, you will be the one who is punished, not me. I could never live if you were taken from me."

Vishu put his hands on either side of her face and brought her head up so she could look at him. He used his thumbs to wipe her tears, and they leaned their foreheads against each other.

"Pagli (crazy girl)," Vishu whispered as they stood like that. "Why do you think all of the pressure was on you? Only you made it that way. That's what I am here for, to share your burdens. Instead of running, you should've trusted me and we could've thought through this together."

"But Vishu," she whispered back. "What can we do? This relationship is cursed."

"Hey, relationships are never cursed. Sometimes, they just have to be fought for harder than others. We will figure this out, but we have to do it together. Alright?" Aditi nodded and Vishu kissed her forehead. They held each other, and soon forgot the rest of the world.