Gone

I was standing in the front lobby, waiting for her to come down. I would say I'm nervous, but that doesn't nearly begin to describe how I am feeling. It was more like every animal in the zoo was running around in my stomach and if I collected all the sweat I was creating, I could fill the Pacific Ocean...ten times. Even after all this time, she still had this affect on me.

I glanced at my watch and then my shoes, not sure where to look while I waited.

The silence was deafening.

I dressed fancy, yet simple. I was wearing my black converse with my dark wash jeans, paired along with a plain white T-shirt. I knew she liked this shirt because every time I wore it, she would stare at my muscles and then look away with her cheeks flushed. She looked so god damned hot when she did that. I love how I had that affect on her, it gave me goose bumps-the good kind.

Pensively, I started to wonder if it was cold outside. I mean, it was summer, but Canadian nights can be cold no matter the season.

What if she got cold? I didn't bring a jacket to keep her warm. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Why didn't I think of that? Will she hate me for this? She'll never want to see me again!

Now I sound like such a love struck idiot.

Maybe because you are a love struck idiot, dumbass.

I sighed and looked up at the staircase before me. It was empty, as was the rest of the house, but then I could hear the faint sounds of her racing around in her room getting together all the last minute details.

I felt this strong urge to see her and hear her voice.

I needed to see her.

I need her.

I could sense her nerves and excitement hitting me like a Mac truck. On crack. Followed by a wrecking ball.

Is she as anxious to see me as I am to see her?

I can smell her scent from all the way down here. Lavender. I love the way she smells. It always releases my tension and helps me relax, it grounds me, but my nerves are not completely nonexistent. They are still there.

Torturing me.

Haunting me.

Mocking me.

After five minutes of waiting, my insecurities came rushing back like a flood at full force. A tsunami.

What if she doesn't want to go out with me anymore?

What if she is planning a way to get rid of me and that's why she is taking so long?

What if we lost our connection?

That scared me the most.

What if our spark is gone?

She can't leave me. She is all I have left.

I need her.

I am just over thinking all of this. It's just my paranoia coming to bothering me at the worst time possible. I am sure of it. I can't believe that I would even let myself think like this I mean--

"Sorry to keep you waiting."

I snapped out of my thoughts immediately and glanced up at the sound of her angelic voice so fast I think I just got whiplash, but who cares? The moment I saw her all my nerves vanished into thin air. I was at peace for the first time all day.