Don't.

Boyfriend

No matter how much I kept hinting that I was done talking to her, she kept agging it on.
"Honey, are you sure you're okay?" She asked for nearly the hundredth time.
I sighed, and rolled my eyes.
"I'm fine mom." I reassured her.
"Really? 'Cause you don't sound fine."
"Mom, we've had this conversation millions of times, and I keep telling you that I'm fine."

"You might say that you're fine, but it is very obvious that you are not fine."
"You're right mom. I'm not fine.
I—am fan-freaking-tastic!" I yelled as a large grin began to spread across my face.
She let out a small chuckle.
"Alright, who is she?" She asked with a smirk.
"Not a she."
"He??"
"Correct!"
"You're gay??"
"Incorrect!"

She looked confused.
"But you just said you liked a guy. 'Pretty sure guys who like guys are gay."
She said.

"Well yeah, but I'm not a guy, so I can't be gay."
I told her.
She looked confused again.
"Huh?"
"'Not a girl either."
"Then what the hell are you?" She exclaimed.

Just then, my boyfriend walked in. Wonder how long he's been here.

"I'll tell ya what Dylan is! They are the most amazing specimen I have ever laid my eyes on!" He exclaimed, hugging me from behind.
"Awh, babe! Where'd you come from?"

My face began to turn scarlet. He is just the best.

"Your room," He finally responded.
"I've been here for like an hour waiting for you. You said we could hang out."

Shit. Forgot about that.

"Oh yeah—a-about that—" I began.
"Don't play innocent. I heard the whole thing. That's why I came out here to stand up for you." He explained.

Ugh, I love him so much.

"Okay, that's lovely and all; but I have a few questions.
First of all, who the hell is that?"
My mom asked, pointing to my boyfriend.
He proceeded to introduce himself.

"Johnny Fields' the name, makin' out with your child's the game." He said with a wink.
My mom looked shocked. Clearly, she can't take a joke.
"I'm kidding," He reassured her. "We don't make out that often."
Now she just looked annoyed.
"'Kidding again!" He exclaimed.
Yep. Definitely annoyed.
"Damn, tough crowd."
Johnny never gives up with his jokes; and I love him for it. He is absolutely hilarious. So, I went ahead and let out little laugh as a way of showing that I appreciated all of that.
I draped my arm around him, and introduced him to my mom once again.

"Mom, this is Johnny; he's my boyfriend."
"Yeah, I've met him." She said rolling her eyes.
"Wow, how kind is she?" Johnny said sarcastically.
"Okay, now that I've got that sorted out—
How does—this work?" She said, gesturing at us.
"I'm poly, and they're pan. We're dating. It's not that hard." Johnny explained.
Ugh, can she stop with all these confused expressions?
"'They'?" She repeated.
"'They'. Dylan is agender." Johnny further explained.
Now she looked more confused than me during math class.
"Huh?"
"Agender, genderless. They do not have a gender." Johnny continued.
"Oh—well,okay. Sorry about all that, I understood poly and pan I just didn't quite understand agender. Thank you for explaining it to me." My mom said smiling.
Finally, she calmed down.
"Of course, any time. You did a great job with Dylan, by the way." He told her.
My face became bright red.
"You are such a dork!" I teased.
He took my hand, and whispered in my ear,
"Come on baby, let's go make some sweet, sweet love."
"And I suppose by that you mean cuddle and watch Netflix like we always do?"

(A/N This is not Netflix and chill. Calm your tits. They are literally just going to cuddle. Their relationship is probably the only one that you will see in 2016, where "Netflix and chill" actually means "relax and watch movies", instead of—ya know, "doin' the nasty".)

"Well duh!" He shouted.
Okay ow, that was right in my ear.
"Johnathan Alexander Fields—"
"Don't say my full name, Dylan James Carson III"
"Come on, you." I said smiling.
I took his hand.
"'To the bedroom; to do the most innocent thing two teenagers could do in a bedroom!"He joked.

*time skipparino!*

As always, a few movies in, he got really existential and cute.

"Hey 'Dylly?"
"Yeah, Johnny?"
"About earlier; uh—did that thing with the psychiatrist really happen?" He asked.
"Yeah—I'm sorry you had to hear about like that." I replied.

"It's fine, really I just—I couldn't believe my ears when I heard that; that is awful." He told me.
"Yeah, I was gonna' tell you, but I didn't know if I could trust you. I've never told anyone about this, except for family of course."
"Awh, muffin! Of course you can trust me!"
Our fingers interlocked. He is so sweet.
"Yeah, I know; I was just scared 'cause we've only been dating for a few months."
"Well that's no reason to be scared. You can tell me anything.
We've known each other since we were kids; we're basically brothers who cuddle."
I have a really weird brain.
"Johnny, baby— think about what you just said."

He thought about it for a moment.
"Yeah, I guess that does sound pretty bad." He said, giggling.

"Also, don't say that word." I told him.
"'Psychiatrist'?"
"Yeah, can you guess why?"
"Oh my god, I am so sorry; I will never say it again."
" Good."
"Okay—that one I get, but what about all the others? Like, is there any word that relates to people helping you that you won't yell at me for saying?" He inquired.
"Yeah, I like a lot of words that relate to people helping me. Like 'therapist', and 'parent'—"
I looked into his deep blue eyes with an adoring smile.
"and 'boyfriend'."

彡☆彡★彡☆彡☆彡★彡☆彡★彡

A/N
Hey! Hope you guys enjoyed that!
So, what did you all think of Johnny Fields?