the day i roded my bike in the woods

Matt Gets Some Mad Pussy

One day, was 15 old I decided to ride my bike. Always roded bike ever parent kick off play computer. Whenever not sit play ROBLOX go out fresh intaking. Notwithstanding any access long-range telecommunications, I always 3-mile radius my house and home.

However, today not normal day of roding my bike.  I remember memorize every detale throwout the day.  I pass friend [CO] Slurpy, always being usual status of Maggot, bringing forth mental plan bring Millenium down, and ride bike woods my back yarding.  Having big house and home very benefit one outdoorsman, but also the board on fence.  It breaken because I broked it once when I roded my bike, and nobody ever pay to fix it.

I spend 3 past year smoothing out trail.  I knowledge the pathfindimg technique by my chest.  It come naturally like my muscle remember memory retrieval.  On this day, though, I manage somehow forget going where to.

I layed down my bike after roding it for 3 miles unbeknowingst to where was. I walk for minutes but it seemed lile kilometer. That when I found her. God said I ability use grammar for just day singular only, thought might as well take this one.

"Err, uh, hi, I'm Matt," I said to her nervously.
"You're not Matt, you're lost!" she said with a somewhat annoying giggle. I swear, her voice was as squeaky as that of a chipmunk.
I gave her the benefit of the doubt, even though her sense of humor was detrimental to her overall appeal.
"I'm sorry, I make awful jokes. Either way, I'm Alexandra," she said with a smile. I liked this name, I decided. It had a classy feel to it, yet had a casual, not too stuffy or rich sound. "But you can call me Allie."

Oh. So much for being classy, huh?

She was pretty much at this point total trash to every sensible man alive, but I found her somewhat oddly attractive. She wore her hair messily and wore a shirt with that god-awful cat face emoticon that said, "Fuck me, Daddy, I'm a veteran Tumblrina."

Yikes.

"Do you need something to drink?" she inquired, grabbing herself a tasty-looking juicebox from her bag. I was tempted to say yes, but after all, I did have this one day to use gamer, so I might as well be a gentleman while I'm at it.  So I said no.
"Where'd you get your manners from?  Wolves?" she asked me.  Oh god, by that point, I thought I had fucked up, but no.  "If so, I think wolves are hot.  I'd fuck one.  I'd also fuck a horse."  Dear god, I have no idea why I didn't run at this point. Fuck.  I gave her a weird look.  She looked at me and asked, "You wouldn't?"  Holy shit, I had no idea she'd go this far.

In this awkward position, I somehow managed to say four awful words: "Of course I would."

"Great!  Then we can share our food like wolves!" she said, as she took her juice box out of her moth and forcefully inserted the straw into mine.  It's warm... ew.  (Remind me why I haven't ran away yet, please?) She makes eye contact with me and slowly sets herself down on me.  What the heck?

Is she legitimately humping me right now?  I can't decide if this day just got ten times better or a hundred times worse. Right about the time I finished my, or our, juice box, I felt something on my leg.  I half expected a spider.  They were common around the woods, and in them even more so.  But, to my surprise, no.  It was liquid.  She was goddamn near soaking wet.

"Christ on a bike, Alexandra? How many boxes have you already drank?" I said, probably sounding at least mildly shocked.
"Enough to let an alpha male like you know I'm crazy for him," she half-whispered with a predatory grin.

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