It's been three years. People say that it gets easier to move on throughout time, but why then am I still here mourning over the things I didn't do and words I didn't say? The remorse didn't vanish one bit, but do you even notice?
Of course not, you have her. She's been better from the start, hasn't she?
It's been three years since you confessed to her. She came into your life without a warning and blew you right away. But didn't you see that I was there all along?
Of course not, you only had eyes for her. Despite all my effort, which you took for granted. Despite the pride I pushed aside for you, when you needed me. It wasn't enough to make you understand. Well, who am I to expect you to know? After all, love makes you blind - that's what they always say.
Maybe I should've made it clear. But would things be any different? You would've told me I'm disgusting. You would've hated me.
You would've left me.
So is it wrong of me to keep quiet? Keep quiet about my sexuality? About my love for you? I can't bear to lose you, so is it worth the pain of never telling you?
You've said it many times, that you love me. But it's not the same. And that hurts every time.
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"Yah, Jimin-ah, what are you waiting for?"
Why don't you call me by my nickname anymore? You always said it was your favorite.
"Ah, mian Taehyungie. I guess, I thought a little too hard there."
Just like I always do, when you're leaving for her.
"Whatever. Are you coming? Minseo is probably waiting for us, we're late."
Won't you ask me what I've been thinking about so much?
"Of course, wouldn't want to keep her waiting, huh?" The shorter male mumbled quietly and quickly reached out to grab his coat from the wardrobe; just in case.
"Did you say something?" Taehyung asked in a skeptical tone and looked up from his expensive watch to stare at the other intently.
Jimin only smiled and shook his head. Would you care?
"Alright. You ready to go?" Continued the younger boy and lowered his gaze to the rather large ticking device clasped around his wrist once more, while tapping his foot impatiently, which almost pushed Jimin over the edge.
Aren't you grateful to have a friend who takes you everywhere, just because you're too busy screwing around with a girl instead of getting your license?
Slipping past Taehyung, who positioned himself right next to the frame of their shared front door, Jimin scoffed silently and unlocked his car next to the front lawn by pressing a button on the small remote. "She won't die from waiting two more minutes."
Taehyung only rolled his eyes in annoyance and decided to leave it at that for now. He was inferior to the other anyway, as Jimin was the one doing him a favor. And it wasn't the first time either. So, without further protest, the tall male silently strode over to the passenger side of his best friend's car and opened the door, before plopping down into the seat with a stern gaze.
Jimin had already taken his seat and started the engine by then, so it didn't take long for him to drive off once Taehyung had put on his seat belt as well. And as usual, the car ride was silent and the atmosphere heavy with words that were begging to be spoken by mouths too scared to do so.