Man Up (A Brendon Urie/Brallon Fanfiction)

Chapter 6

I'm singing to empty bottles everywhere.

Brendon's PoV

Coughing, spitting blood from my mouth, I crawl towards my clothes and begin pulling them on. I can't stop crying, everything hurts and bleeds. I hate what my life has become. I hate Audrey, and Dallon for provoking her this much. I hate myself more than anyone.

I finish getting dressed and sit for a few minutes in the corner of the room, shaking violently. I can't live like this anymore. I'm so scared. I've never been in a relationship before where the only real escape I can see is to end my own life and I really, genuinely want to die. The only friends I have don't like me anymore because I don't spend enough time with them, and I can't explain to them that it's not my choice.

Eventually, I pull myself to my feet on shaky legs and stumble towards the large mirror in the centre of the room. She doesn't usually damage my face so it can be covered up easily. I wipe any blood away and sigh. My phone vibrates in my pocket with a text. It's Pete.

"Everyone's down in the bar, where are you?"

I close my eyes and sigh, pushing a smile onto my face before replying:

"Just showering! On my way now!"

I turn back to the mirror. I'm still wearing the clothes I was wearing on stage. They're still damp with blood and sweat and they stink. I dart out of the room and down to our dressing room, where nobody else is.

I find the clothes I put away earlier to change into when I got off stage and disappear into the bathroom. Showering quickly, hissing as the hot water burns my tender skin, washing away the sweat and blood matted into my hair. Leaping out of the shower and barely drying myself, I throw on the clothes and drag my hair into what looks like a decent style. I haven't cut it in so long, it's wild, the sides far too thick and the top sticking up all over the place. I tame it as best I can and start running again, back down the corridor, out of the side exit.

There's a few fans lingering outside, who all rush toward me. I decide this will be a decent excuse to use, so I sign CDs and take photos for a while, wincing every time one of them puts their hand on my back. I want to stay with them forever, these beautiful people who love me for me and care about me. I hear Audrey's voice in my head.

"They only scream for you because they want to fuck you. It's not about music or personality, it never has been. And you never will fuck any of them, because you're horrible, and you're mine forever, aren't you?"

I shake my head, desperately trying to force her away. Eventually, they all run off, and I'm left with no further excuses. I walk across the parking lot, past everyone's busses, thinking about the last time I got a decent nights sleep. Sometime around not knowing Audrey.

"Fucking finally!" Pete greets when I enter the little bar. It's jam packed with our and Fall Out Boy's crew and there's loud music thumping through the floor.  Pete pulls me into a jolly hug, slapping my back as he does so. I wince, pushing the whimper back and clamping down on my bottom lip. Someone grips hold of my hand and plants a kiss on my cheek.

Ah good, I almost had a second away from her.

"Where have you been, babe?" Audrey simpers, batting her eyelashes.

"There were some fans outside, so I was signing a few things." I say smoothly. She raises her eyebrows, letting me know she doesn't believe me. I feel my throat go tight.

"C'mon then, I haven't seen drunk Brendon on this tour yet, and he's my favourite!" Pete shouts to get my attention, already tipsy. I see he's holding out a shot. I nod, smiling, refusing to look at Audrey, taking the shot and knocking it back in one go. Pete hands me another and I go take it when Audrey's fingernails dig their way into my hands.

"I... I mean, we, are going to go talk to the boys now, I'll be back in a..." I trail off when I realise he's not listening at all, drink the shot anyway and follow Audrey as she goes and sits on the table with a few crew members, Zack and Dallon.

I see Dallon look at me with wide eyes, but when I try to meet his gaze, he looks away. My throat goes dry again. Audrey's grip on my hand tightens again.

He knows.