A Cheesy Thing Called Love

Love is a fickle thing, especially as it leads to people having false desires as they chase after this marketed idea of having a "happy ever after". For the longest time, I personally thought it was stupid. Why the hell would you spend your time chasing after something that seemed so unattainable? First, you gotta get them to notice you. Then they gotta love you til the very last drop. I think it's called "unconditional love", I think it's full of crap. Well I did, that is until I met her.

I am not going to lie to you, mac. I never got her name, that would have made it too easy. But what I do know, that she was my everything. Just by the mere brush of her skin against mine, I knew I was destined to be with her. Naturally, at first, I just wanted to be inside her. I know, I am sick. But that desire changed into something else as I heard her voice sing amongst the heavens. She was asking when I was going to expire as she proceeded to check me out from head to toe. Shivers rushed down my spine as she handled me with such delicateness and grace, I didn't know what to even say. She had me speechless. And for someone like me, that was an admirable act as I had always been known to be a conversation starter. I guess, that's what you get when you are part dairy.

From there, everything seemed to be a whirlwind of emotions as she cradled me in her arms like a lost relic. It was that moment that I wished that she never let me go. This embrace meant for a brief moment we were one. For that moment she was mine. It wasn't going to be until later when we were going to have our evening of physical pleasures. But rather than just having a moment of intimacy, I knew I was going to be shared amongst the many faces like some sort of whore. That was the norm, and I was used to it. But for this woman, I would give my entire being just to be with her for one brief moment in time. Alone. Maybe in her bedroom, but honestly I didn't have a preference. We could do it in the kitchen for all I cared. All I knew is that I wanted to be with her, forever. Honestly, I felt a bit like a fool as I could feel my brothers and sisters judge me from afar as we began to leave. But I didn't care. She was the one for me. As we made our way to her car I could only imagine what our children were going to look like. How we deserved to be together. I would give her everything she wanted, just as long as she let me be with her. Even if this meant we had to have a threesome with Ritz. I would be okay with that. I would leave everything entirely up to her.

Finally, we had left and made our journey home. Finally, we were going to have some alone time. Honestly, the car ride was a bit quiet in comparison to our initial meeting. I didn't blame her, though; we were still new in our relationship. And honestly, I was just a young thing. So, back then I was just shy. As she drove, her voice matched the tune that had been playing from a mysterious black box in the middle of the dashboard. With every beat, my beauty continued to dance as the metallic chariot whisked us home. I could feel myself becoming sweaty as I continued to watch her body move. Each of her curves coiled about as a snake would travel amongst the grass. She was beautiful. Although I was blinded by her physical appearance, I now know that she was nothing more than a black widow. And naturally, I fell into her trap of lies and deceit. Nothing in my years of training would prepare me for the events that would happen next.

As I remained hypnotized by her body, she then proceeded to show me into her apartment labeled 378B. It was small and quaint for the two of us as it was a one bedroom apartment. It was quite cute as you entered the main hall you found yourself within the living area. There was even a nice hole in the wall between the kitchen and the main room that allowed an occupant to not only cook, but watch television. Naturally, the bedroom was just around the corner with a washroom attached as well. It was perfect for us. Well, perfect until we start discussing the plans for all twelve of our children. I was already formulating names at this point, basic ones such as Brie, Monterey Jack, Miette, and Crowley. I am sure she too had some names in mind, but these were mere suggestions for our little curds. In my mind, I would be just as happy to call them all Cheddar so long as I was with her. For little naive me, I thought I had reached my happily ever after and soon we were going to become husband and wife.