Struggling for Him

chapter 1

I kept my face down, not wanting Drew to see me. This isn't what he was always like, he cared for me. Until a year ago today, he lost his sister in a car accident. Drew never forgave him self for driving that car.

He slowly would call in sick to work, because he would want to drink. As the days went on he became aggressive towards me and I would just think it was his way of grieving. I became okay with the fact that he didn't treat me the same anymore.

He looks at me with disgust in his eyes. I could tell all he wants more is to slap me, and I'm preparing myself for the worse. Tears run down my face as he pulls me by the hair, making me face him. "You stupid, girl," Drew spat at me. "All you do is want to leave me and go find the perfect guy! Huh? Answer me!"

I knew if I talked right now, that he would hurt me, he does this all the time. The worthless words he tells me I am, don't have any meaning, because instead of a whore I used to be a princess.

I knew what he's doing is wrong, but I have no control over what he does anymore. He is stronger and I couldn't stop him if I wanted too. He slowly loosed his grip on my hair and I took this chance to run. I ran to the bathroom and locked myself in. Now, all I have to do is wait— wait till he passes out.

This time, I know why Drew was mad. Earlier, we were at a party with his friends apartment and he asked me to kiss his best friend. Nothing good was going to come out of it. Either I kiss him, and I'm a slut or I don't and I disobey him. I figured that I would get him drunk enough that soon he would just pass out.

I exam myself to see if he gave me anything new, but still I am brought to see the only scar that he gave me. It's on my thigh and it's a reminder that he is a different person from the first guy I fell in love with or what I thought what love was.

After what felt like a long time, I slowly decided to get up and check if he's conscious.

"Drew?" I called out, not sure if he was still awake. I open the door slowly, remembering not to wake him if he is already passed out. "Drew?" I whispered. No answer.

I hurry to see him on the couch, passed out. Relief floods through me. This is my chance—to go. This is the only chance I have and I'm going to finally take it.

I grab a bag just putting my essentials in it. I go through Drew's wallet to get all the cash I can get. My plan is to find the first bus to Tennessee, my brother can help me from there. For now, I run, I run far away from Drew and hope he never catches up.

•••
three months later

"Thanks for all your help," I told him. "—but truly, I am okay now." My brother, Jacobi, smiled at me.

Nobody knows anything about Drew and how destroyed me. He would never let me. When ever we were with any of my friends or family he would never leave me. He never gave me an opportunity to talk to anyone. It was just him and me.

With the help of Jacobi, financially he helped me get back on my feet. I got transferred from Arizona State to University of Tennessee, where Jacobi lives with his fiancé. The house was getting crowded with me there so I saved up enough for me to live in an apartment with a roommate for a while.

"Just call me if you need anything," he sighed. "I love you, always."

"I love you, always," I smiled back at him. "But I really have to go and get settled in."