[ChunJoe] We Are Not a Joke [Teen Top] DISCONTINUED

Chapter Seven - A Love Like Ours

*C.A.P's POV* 

Nothing I ever do is good enough. I'm the leader of this entire group, yet I'm still one of the last to be noticed. I'm good to everyone, especially Chan-hee... I treat him like he's a Prince, and I'm still second-best... I can't satisfy people. I wanted to live a life where I could make people happy and that alone would be enough for me, but it couldn't be that way. Maybe it's my fault for wanting more than I could take... Maybe it's my own fault for liking Chan-hee, since he'd given me no signs of being interested. Perhaps I am wrong to get mad over things like this, when really it's all down to me, but still... If nobody notices you're suffering, things become a little hard to bare sometimes. I'm the leader of 'Teen Top'... Of course, I have fans... But Byung-hun always has more. At concerts, the cheers of "L.JOE! L.JOE!" Can be heard above everything else... It seems he really is better than me... It hurts. I'm tired. Enough is enough, isn't it? Maybe I should just step down as the leader of the group, let Byung-hun take that from me, too. I'm sure he'd make a much better leader than me. Since he's just so good at everything...

I really hate feeling jealous. In fact, I despise jealous people. And yet, these days my head is a mess, and I get the urge to just strangle someone. I dream of things that should never be dreamt, and yet still I have to put on a smile day after day for the media. After all, the future of 'Teen Top's popularity relies on all of us remaining positive no matter what, doesn't it? So no matter how much it hurts to know that Chan-hee likes Byung-hun and not me, I still have to act like I'm his best friend... It's sickening. Last week, we went on that trip to the island for the day, Chan-hee was upset and it was me that cheered him up, me, not anybody else. And yet, he still ran into Byung-hun's arms. And I had to stand there and just pretend to be happy for him, since I'm the nice, reliable friend. Good old C.A.P's always there when people need to dump their problems on him. Well, not anymore. I've decided, I'm officially done with being everyone's therapist. 

You got a problem? Work the damn thing out on your own! I don't care. 

No, these days, I'm much better off sitting inside with a large bottle of soda, ordering take-out to be delivered and watching bad TV shows every day, instead of being called out to 'talk' or comfort someone. I'll spend my time the way I want to spend my time, and I'll drive Chan-hee away from me, since he apparently doesn't want me anyway. Getting back with his ex-girlfriend, pshhh. He wouldn't get back with her if his life depended on it, not now that Byung-hun's given the game away and shown interest. Oh no, whoever that poor girl is, she stands no chance anymore. She's history. Gone. "Annyeong~" A cute voice pulled me from my thoughts and I glanced up to meet the eyes of a petite girl with shoulder-length brown hair and a pretty smile. For a moment, I was so lost in thought that I'd completely forgotten my manager had arranged for me to work in some damn cafe for the day, being filmed for a TV show about male idols. Just what I need right now. "Hello, welcome to MaMa. What can I get you today?" I offered the girl my best smile, and she fluttered her eyelashes at me in return. If Byung-hun were here, I'd stand no chance. I thought to myself. "I'll have a small latte, with extra cream." The girl gave her order and smiled at me again. Was she actually interested in me, or just being friendly? 

"If you'd like to take a seat, miss... I'll bring it over to you in just a second." I told the smiling girl, and she gave me a nod before walking over to one of the booths near the window. I made a note of her seat and then went about making her drink. "What are you doing right now?" One of the TV presenters asked, walking behind the counter and massively invading my personal space. "Working." I replied bluntly, distancing myself from her. Duh? Maybe, just maybe, I'm doing what you told me to do, which happens to be working in this cafe just around the corner from Chan-hee's apartment complex. "How are you finding your ordinary work experience?" The presenter asked me, again, closing in on my personal space. "It's been no problem so far, but then, it's still early on in the day, I'm kinda worried that it'll become very crowded in the afternoon!" I forced a laugh, grinning at the camera. I hate this. "An important customer is waiting for her order, so I'd better hurry up!" I added quickly, before going back to making the girl's drink. In the background, I could hear the presenter speaking to the camera, saying something along the lines of; "It'll be busy today... Do your best! Oppa, HWAITING!" So generic.