Behind Blue Eyes

Chapter 1

           All I've ever wanted was to have a happy ending, unfortunately life has never been easy for me.  It all started the moment I was born. That moment my life became hell. How do I know that? Well I know that because I was born blind and my parents didn’t want a child with a disability. I was abandoned. I ended up in the foster system. The foster system is hard enough, but it’s harder when you’re blind. At least I was with others who sort of knew what I was going through. Never in my life have I met someone else who is blind.

            I supposed it’s easier not to have ever known what it is like to see things then to have been able to see and then have your sight taken away. Everyday I wonder what things look like, what it would be like to see things. Sometimes I even hope that someday I will get my sight back by some miracle. But deep down I know that will never happen. I will always be blind and there is nothing I can do about it.

            When I was about five someone in the foster system finally gave me Braille and taught me how to use it. I figure they did it not for my own benefit, but so that if someone ever wanted to adopt me I would be somewhat educated. At that point I thought I would never be adopted. Who would want a blind child?

            In the foster system there had been a few kind foster kids that befriended me. I remember how happy I was. But then it seemed each friend I made was taken away from me. I mean I was happy they found a family, but I was losing the only people that I knew to be my family. It had been selfish of me to wish they hadn’t been adopted. But it was like the world didn’t want me to be happy. The world wanted me to suffer.

            Then finally when I was ten a young couple came by the home, they wanted to see me. I couldn’t believe it. No one ever came to see me. There was a one couple that came to see me a couple years before, but they hadn’t been informed that I was blind. I may not have been able to see the looks on their faces, but I didn’t have to see to know that they were disappointed. And minutes later they walked away without saying anything. That night I cried myself to sleep, thinking how I would never get adopted. No one would ever want me. I blamed my birth parents for my blindness.

            The day that Mrs, and Mr. Lewis came by to see me was one of the happiest days of my life. They were so kind and I knew that they ddint care about my disability. They loved me right away. So that day, May 3rd, 2004, I went home with the Lewis’ and I finally felt that maybe my life could finally turn around that maybe I could be happy again.

            A few days later I met Max Jensen, he and his family lived across the street from the Lewis’ and they wanted to meet me. I was so nervous that day. Thankfully mom-as I now call Mrs. Lewis- told me that Max was a very nice boy and that we would be good friends. To this day I wonder how she knew that. Because she was dead on.

            For some reason Max didn’t care that I was blind. He was nice to me and treated me like a normal ten year old kid. We hit it off that day. And now we are best friends, he is the only one –other than my parents- that accept me.

            When I started school a few days later Max was the one to help me around the school, to walk me to my class. He even hung out with me out recess instead of playing with his friends. That’s when I knew Max was a keeper. He always came to my defense when someone teased me.

            Thankfully my elementary school went from kindergarten to eighth grade, so I didn’t have to change schools and get to know new people. But then it came time to start high school. My high school is a mix of kids from my elementary school and four or five others. I was at least used to kids from my school, but I wasn’t ready to face so many others. Because I knew they would all judge me the moment they saw my cane. The only good thing was that Max was by my side trying to make it as easy for me as possible. But no matter how hard he tried it would always be hard for me. People didn’t accept me the way Max did and I didn’t think anyone ever would.