I acted this way for a reason. I swore I wouldn't ever do anything just because everyone else was doing it. I made a mistake. I couldn't feel regret for something that can't be returned. I am separate from the people that surround me. I felt insecurity started to creep into my mind. But there was no reason to be and the feeling was discarded from my body. Then he came. The moment I truly saw him.
My first thoughts of him were filled with empty-headedness and his child like behavior. The thoughts had vanished from my mind completely, I didn't know what to think. The moment I truly saw him. The way he would endeavor to be in my presence slightly fascinated me. He lured me in. I felt trapped seeing as I have never felt like this before. I was curious. I didn't want to think I was falling because then I would believe that I actually was. He was something. My mind can't seem to decipher what he was because I can't fit him into one word. He was many things. It was his rarity that I loved. It was his rarity that captured me . Everything about him was entrancing. Then I was blinded by the unvarnished truth of his lies .
My breath was taken from my body when it was exposed. When his voice became nothing but lost in a crowd.
He enticed me. Tears decided to shed from my eyes as I weeped. I couldn't. To know that these were his intentions all along, frightened me. I had really fallen. Solace was nowhere in my sight as I sat sorrowing for days. I needed to be indifferent to my feelings toward him. But everything had rushed back into my mind leaving me distraught.
" I hate the way he talked to me, and the way he cut his hair. I hate the way he drives my car, the way he stares. I hate his big dumb combat boots, and the way he read my mind. I hate you so much it makes me sick. I hate the way he was always right, I hated when he lied. I hate it when he makes me laugh , even worse when he makes me cry. I hate it when you're not around, and the fact that he didn't call. But mostly I hate the way I don't hate him, not even close, not even a little, not even at all."
