You're Not Alone...

Chapter 3: That Is Not What I Meant At All. That Is Not It At All...

It was several hours since the waffle incident, and Victoria had barely said a word during that whole time. She simply stared out the window of the bus, watching the rain run races down the windows or counting how far away the storm was based on the thunder and lightning. She wasn't quite in the mood for anything anymore. No one was sure why she just sat there without a word, and it worried them.

At some point, CC decided he was bored, and he sat on Victoria's lap, "HEY!" She cracked a smile for the first time in hours. CC was stupified, "YOU SMILED!!!!!!! I WIN!!!!!!" He was such a man-child. Victoria's laugh came as the wind through wind chimes, "Yes you do. Would you like to know your prize?"

"I get a prize?!?!

"Yes: everyone's eternal gratefulness," she giggled.

"Aww, that's not what I wanted..." CC pouted like a 5 year-old.

"Too bad. Now what do you want, since you're obviously bored?"

"Hmm... LET'S PLAY A GAME!!!"

"Depends on the game," Victoria jumped & screamed when there was a large crack of thunder. Ashley somehow heard her scream over the thunder and came rushing to her, "You okay, Vicky?!?"

"S-sorry... I'm fine. I just... I'm jumpy. That's all," she didn't look at him.

Ash sighed, "It's okay. You have every right to be." He gave her a reassuring smile which only made her feel worse. He barely knew her, yet he was bending over backwards to keep her happy. Why? She couldn't get over it. This wasn't normal, nor right. She felt as though she was disturbing his normal life. He shouldn't have to watch over some stupid little girl. It broke her heart to see him worry over her as if he was obligated to.

"Ashley..." her voice was soft. Not weak, but soft, "Please don't worry over me. I will be fine."

"No matter how much you say that, I'll always worry about you. Understand that." At this time, CC slipped away, understanding that an intense conversation was about to start. "Vicky, I worry over people I care about. And you're only 16, but you-"

"Exactly! I'm only 16! I'm 16 and you barely know me! You have no reason to care about me! No reason at all. No one else does..."

"Well that's part of why I do. Because I know you need someone to finally care about you."

"But it shouldn't be you! You have all of this! I have school! I have a life that I can't leave so that I just stay on tour with you for you to worry about me and take care of me all the time when you don't even know me!"

"I don't fucking care! I-"

"There. You said it. You finally said it."

"That is not what I meant at all. That is not it at all..."

"But it's certainly what you said," Victoria walked toward the door, "You dont care, just like everyone else. I'll just leave so you can focus on touring, Ash. I'm sure you'd prefer that..." She walked off the bus and Ash didn't stop her. He just watched her in shock and heartbreak. He couldn't believe that she was leaving so quickly... It destroyed him.

[Ashs's P.O.V.]

I never meant that I didn't care about her! That's not what I meant at all! That's not it at all... And she just left! What if that guy is still out there, waiting for her to be alone?!? I ran out the door after Vicky, only to find no one. No one whatsoever. "Shit! Victoria! Please come back!!" I went back onto the bus, "Guys, Victoria left. We need to go find her NOW. What if that guy is still out there looking for her?!"

Andy rushed out, "Are you kidding me?! In this rain?! She just LEFT?!"

"Why would I fucking joke about that, man?! This is Victoria we're talking about!!"

Andy knew what I meant, I could tell by the look in his eyes, "Right. Let's go find her..."

"Thank you."

We let the other guys know that we were leaving to look for her, and we searched through the night for Victoria. We checked the entire city, not finding a trace. No one had seen a soaked girl walk under even an awning. The parks were empty, streets were empty aside from a few cars, so we went back to the bus around 3 in the morning. We were dead tired... And we didn't find her. It destroyed me...

When we got back, Andy and I laid in our bunks, talking. "You know that she twisted my wirds around, right?"

"Well what exactly was said?"

"She told me I didn't need to be taking care of a 16 year-old and worrying about her when I barely even know her. So I said I don't care -- specifically about that fact -- and she cut me off before I could say that I WANT to care for her. She just paid attention to the 'I don't care' bit."

"She completely took it out of context?"

"I don't understand why the hell-"

Andy cut me off, "She's used to no one caring. Haven't you noticed? Her parents never called her, she was telling you not to do things for her, it all adds up. No one has ever cared about her before, so she wanted an excuse to leave before you could hurt her by pretending to care."

Pretending to care? Seriously? I wasn't fucking pretending! "I wouldn't pretend about something like that. Especially not considering how I came upon finding her. Do I really come off that way?" Another slap in the face this was gonna be... Twice in one day.

Andy shrugged, "Maybe to some people, but overall, no. She's just so used to people that SHOULD care only pretend to. So when she comes across it genuinely, she doesn't believe it. I'm sure that's her problem, Ash."

"I wish we found her... What if something happened to her, Andy? I'll never forgive myself..."

"I know. We'll find her. If it's the last thing we do."

"Thanks..."

"Look, if we're gonna be searching for her a bunch, we're gonna need sleep. Go to bed if you can... Night, man... Hehehe, I inadvertantly rhymed."

I rolled my eyes and laughed at him, "Night, Packers Fan." Somehow, though Victoria was haunting my every thought, I was able to fall asleep. But it wasn't a sound sleep... It was full of tossing and turning, and worrying about Vicky.