Erwin stood with his back towards you and Hanji, looking out the window. There was nothing to look at really, it was dark. Numerous documents and papers were stacked neatly upon his desk which stood between you and him.
“Ball you say?”
“Yes, sir.” You answered.
“The younger soldiers suggested it. I kind of agree with them. Don’t you think we should give the kids some good time?”
“Yes Hanji. But with the madness going on…” his voice trailed away.
“It’d be perfect, sir.” You said and the commander tore his gaze away from the darkness, looking this time at you. “They need a break. We all do. Also, I think the Recon Corps can allow themselves this one night off since we aren’t guarding the walls, unlike the other legion. And we are all trained for speed so…”
“And the idiots who don’t want to can just stay on guard, just in case!” suggested Hanji and got a glare from you.
“I’ll think about it. Now go.” He said.
You and Hanji saluted him and left his office.
As soon as you were out you let out a loud sigh. You were Commander Erwin’s assistant and second corporal. You never really talked to him much, probably because he always looked so stern and heartless. Back in your trainee days when you just started, he was already done and applying for the Recon Corps. Everyone seemed shocked and disappointed. Such a waste, they thought, he could have protected the king. Yet for some reason, even then, you knew that he’d made a right choice. Waste or not, he was surely going to come back from lots of expeditions. And three years later, you followed him in to the scouting legion.
However, soon you realized that following him was a wrong choice. Not because of the terror raging behind the walls, but because there was no way the Commander cared about anything but his work. It always required his full attention and so the closest you could get to him was second corporal, or physicaly, behind his desk.
It was hard; not being able to talk to him casually, not being able to be sure you weren’t going to die, not being able to tell him how you felt, not being able to breathe properly when he was around, not being able to hold him when he was down; for you knew that even such a grim man had feelings. Not being able to call him ‘Erwin’ instead of the usual “sir” and “Commander”. Your heart attempted to break out of your ribcage every time someone else called him.
And now the kids asked for a ball.
“What are you going to wear?!” Hanji jumped next to you as the two of you walked back to your rooms through the dark lit corridor.
“I don’t know. I don’t have any dresses.”
“We’ll get you one! And who are you going to go with?”
“Hanji, the commander still hasn’t given us his full decision.”
“Ahh. I’ll take that as a ‘I want to go with Erwin’.” You glared at her.
“No I don’t.”
“Pssshh. It’s so obvious.” She was loud and kept blabbering, “Sometimes when you’re with the kids you get all playful and happy. You even joke, despite being one of the most fearful soldiers for the cadets and youngsters. Once in his office, you go rigid.”
“Whatever.”
“I swear, {Name}, I can literally not hear you breathe! How one earth do you spend hours with him in his office, working? Why are you even alive right now?” she poked your arm, as if looking for signs of life.
