Hope

6

I didn't even acknowledge her.

She opened her mouth to try to say something but closed it staying silent.

Without any word exchange I left.

I walked up the stairs to the second floor.

Second door.

Left hand side.

My room, while many think it was my only refuge, it wasn't.

The more I stayed in there, the more I feared the world.

But I was right, the only thing I ever learned was how to make others miserable.

I decided to take a shower because I have to see my therapist today.

Layer by layer I took my clothes off.

From the navy blue cardigan to the black vans, I stripped everything off.

I stepped in the shower and grabbed the nearest body wash.

And then I just sat there on the shower floor cradling my knees to my chest.

I let every tear out.

I let it all out.

Silently sobbing to myself to the point I felt vulnerable.

I stayed in the shower to point where the steam became so thick it was hard to breathe.

I didn't even care to come out.

I didn't want to come out.

I wanted to stay here.

Where I didn't have to face everyone.

Where I could protect myself from them.

But that was my problem.

I was able to protect myself from them.

I wasn't able to protect me from myself