Dear Black Baby

Point Five.

I look around as I sit on our patio and wonder how I got so lucky to meet and fall in love with Harry. He's the most handsome and charming guy I've ever met. He has the biggest heart and lights up any room with his energy and smile. How did I get so lucky? Harry and I have a beautiful 10 month old daughter named Novella. How did she get so unlucky that she's going to have to grow up without a father? How did she get so unlucky? How did we get so unlucky?

Harry and I weren't married yet, only engaged, so everything goes to his family. They've never liked me so they gave me only a short month to be out of the condo. The only money I'll have is some in an account Harry set up for me in case of an emergency. I usually count shopping as an emergency so it only has $5,000 left in it. His family is so cruel and unapproving that they'd rather see my little Ella and me on the streets. They're taking everything. The only things I'll be left with are the gifts Harry purchased for me, such as my car. But I can't possibly afford the insurance and whatever else
you have to pay for with a car so I'll have to sell that. His family doesn't even want to meet Ella. Why would they welcome a black baby and her mother into their family? And now since Harry is gone, they don't have to pretend to.

I look over to Ella and she's already gazing up at me. It puts a smile on my face. We're all each other has. I have her and she has me. I think about calling my mother but I remember she's as disapproving as Harry's family. I haven't heard from them since I left home last year. I used to send her pictures of important things; my favorite shots from my maternity shoot, my engagement ring, the nursery, Ella. But I never receive a response so I eventually stopped. I don't tell her Derek has passed because I doubt she'd care anyway.

His funeral is tomorrow and Ella and I still don't have anything to wear. I can't afford anything new so we'll just have to wear whatever we can find in the closet. Neither of us have depressing funeral clothes but I find two similar black dresses for us to wear. My dress is pleated and has short sleeves with a white collar. Ella's dress is simple, sleeveless, and has a white crochet collar. Tomorrow is going to be one of the hardest days of my life but I know as long as I have Ella I can get through anything.