We Kidnapped Captain Levi! [Attack On Crack-Fic]

That was way to close...

"What're you two planning?" Levi asked once more while me and Sarah nodded signals at each other.

"We're going to give you a...a treat!" I grinned and Sarah covered Levi's eyes.

I quickly rushed around the room and viciously scrubbed the dirty floor in front of Levi.

Sarah removed her hands and stared at them "I'll never clean these hands again!"

SPLASH

"...YOU BARREL!!!" Sarah screamed at me.

"OH HELL NO!!!" I yelled and pointed a finger at her, "You did NOT just call me a freakin' BAREEL!"

"What's so bad about barrels?" Levi sweatdropped.

"Glad you asked." Sarah smiled and we sat down with our laptop with YouTube on the screen.

"What is this device?" Levi asked.

"Calm down, its twenty first century stuff! No touchy!" I stated and brought up PewDiePie! The greatest YouTuber ever!

Oh? What was that? He isn't? Then how come he has the most subscribers and has been given a Guinness World Record for it?

What? Nothing to say?

...I'm sorry, I get WAAAY over protective of this guy...

For the next few hours, the three of us watched PewDiePie play different games which included:

Happy Wheels

Amnesia Dark Descent

Slender Man

Limbo

Heavy Rain

The Walking Dead

Trouble in Terrorist Town

...and many, many more!

During the scary moments, me and Sarah latched onto Levi while he sighed.

During the sad moments, me and Sarah cried on Levi making him sweatdrop and try to squirm away.

During the funny moments well...we just laughed our ass off while Levi looked at us like 'dafuq'.

After a LONG while, I fell asleep on Levi and I'm glad that I did so Sarah won't try anything.

...when I'm asleep, I'm like a rock...

I don't wake up and I can't be moved. Try to take something from my grip and I'll hold on tighter.

So, that means Levi can't escape either which is good!

I mean, we don't really wanna go to prison AGAIN!

.....long story......

Lets just say, we've tried this with several anime characters....

Kakashi Hatake! If you are reading this then I apologise for what Sarah has done to you!

Toshiro Hitsuguya?.....hey there ;)

-----------------

When I woke up, it was.........interesting......

Sarah was attempting to slyly pull Levi away from my grip but once I looked at her, still half asleep she froze.

"Sh...she still hasn't noticed...." she whispered to Levi.

I blinked and lay my head back on Levi.

"Told you..."

I jumped up and flykicked Sarah!

"I'M TOO FAB FOR THAT!" I yelled.

SMACK

"Ouchie......."

"That's what you get, bitch!" Sarah yelled fist raised.

"Okay, I'm sorry....what're we doing?" I asked.

"I was trying to move him because........um.......the Military Unit is outside......" Sarah sweatdropped.

"Oh....."

"Hey - "

"Sh!!" me and Sarah yelled covering Levi's mouth quickly.

I opened the trap door and Sarah threw the Captain down. We quickly rolled out a rug and Sarah went to answer the door as I quickly placed a wooden dining table one top of the rug.

"Oh, hello there ugh....what can I do for you?" Sarah asked politely.

It's scary how she can turn from:

"MOVE BITCH!"

"It's a pleasure to meet you!"

"Well, after you slammed the door shut in our faces we think it's right to be able to have a quick search." the woman stated coming right in.

"Why's that?" I grumble sitting on the table munching on an apple.

I love apples.

Shinigami love apples.

Therefore, I am a God of Death!

"Humanity's strongest soldier has disappeared and we have suspicions that the yelling barrel girls have taken him hostage for whatever reason!" one of the helpers stated going upstairs.

My and Sarah glanced at each other, knowing that we were the 'yelling barrel girls'.

"Well, excuse the mess." Sarah smiled then glared at me, "This one doesn't clean up very often."

"Hey, if there's nothing in it for me then I won't do it!" I stated.

"Whatever......"

"Upstairs is checked."

"So is downstairs."

"Alright, let's move on to the next house." the captain of the squad nodded. "Sorry for bothering you."

"No bother!" Sarah smiled.

"Bye."

"ACHOO!"

...

...

...

"What was that?" the lady glared looking around the room.

"What was what?" I asked blinking.

"That sneeze? Where did it come from?" she asked again.

"What sneeze? I didn't hear no sneeze!" I said looking at her as if she were crazy.

Levi! I love you but...be quiet!

"Captain, what's the hold up?"

"....nothing." she muttered rubbing her temple and leaving.

Once the door was closed, me and Sarah let out a giant sigh of relief each.

"That was way too close..."

- - - - - - - - - - - -

......ha ha ha!!!!!!!

Funny story....ugh.....I actually thought that I posted this chapter....?

So that's the reason for my two month delay......

....oops.....

Sa-chan (sup Sarah), please don't kill meh....

THAT GOES FOR ALL OF YOU!!!!

Well, I'm gonna go hide and start writing the next chapter!! ^.^

Hope you enjoyed the chapter! Comment, vote and fan!

PSYCHOPATH OUT!!