You caught me. Once again I was staring at your beautiful face from across the room. I don’t care what the teacher’s saying or what grade I have. All I care about is you. I stare every day because I know you. I know if something’s wrong just by how you look or act. And if something is wrong, I tell our mutual friends so they can help. I would go to you, but you’ve already said how much you hated me and you never wanted me to speak to you again. So I’m granting your wish because clearly I can no longer make you happy. How do I still remember that one little text message sent on April 25th, 2013 at 4:23 PM saying “Please don’t talk to me EVER AGAIN!!”? Some things you just never forget, I guess. Like our first kiss on December 23, 2012 and how it was kinda awkward and we almost missed but I rode my bike away screaming “WOOOOHOOOO!!!” because you still have no idea how bad I wanted to kiss you. Or that day at elitches when you found porn on my phone and could never look at me the same. I can still remember every day you hated me. How my heart would stop if I was hanging out with our best friend at the time and you appeared. But those days are gone now and we’ve made up and broke up and now we’re friends again and both secretly vowing never to show feelings for the other because it always ended badly. So now I just stare at you. Thinking about how beautiful you are. Thinking about that dimple on your cheekbone that would always make me smile. I’m no longer in love with you, I’ve moved on and so have you. But that doesn’t change the fact that I care about you. I love you and I want you to be okay and my best friend makes you so happy, I can see it in your eyes. And I’m glad. Because you make her happy too and it makes me happy to see it. So once again you caught me staring and I don’t know why I was staring but sometimes I just get this reminder of how happy we used to be together. And I can’t help but fall in love with you. It’s only for a second before I snap back into reality and focus on something else, but that split second makes all my fears and pains go away. I can’t control it, it happens almost randomly and you always catch me doing it. But this time, I caught you staring back.
