In Samantha's Mind

My Documentary Subject

Because of what I had told Sam yesterday, I decided it would be a good idea to sit with her at lunch again. I mean what kind of friend would I be if I let her sit all by herself during lunch. I thought that maybe Jenny and Daniel would want to, too. Although Jenny left towards the end of lunch yesterday, and Daniel wasn't even there, I thought maybe they would want to give it another try.

I was completely wrong.

When I brought it up to Jenny, she said she would rather sit alone, but by all means I could do whatever I wanted and sit wherever I wanted. I knew she didn't mean it. She never does. Jenny can be a bit passive aggressive. She seemed very upset by the fact that I was trying to make a new friend, and I knew it was probably because she thought I was going to replace her with Sam. That's not true. I can't replace Jenny. It be like trying to replace your sister. No matter how many times you try, no matter how annoying she can be at times, you know that she can't be replace.

I watched as she walked towards our normal table and sat down by herself. Neither Daniel nor I wanted Jenny sitting by herself, so he decided to go with her, especially because she likes to have someone to complain to, when things don't go her way. I know Jenny, when someone does something that she strongly disagrees with she likes to rant about it, trying to make others see her point because she always has to be right. Usually, I'm the one who listens to her complaints, but today, I was the rabble-rouser who dared to go against her. I was the one who was doing something that she didn't approve of.

When we were younger, I always did what Jenny told me to do. It's true that I was shy and incapable of making friends, but that wasn't why I did everything she told me to do. I just didn't want to anger her, mainly. I've said so before, Jenny can get quite aggressive, so it's best to do as she says. Plus, Jenny and I aren't children anymore, and I can't always be following her around like her little puppy, even though I'm still a bit afraid of her hurting me again.

"Can you give this to her?" I asked Daniel, handing him my carton of chocolate milk.

"She's not going to want it if she knows that it's from you."

"I know, but just give it to her. She'll try to resist it, but her love for chocolate milk will overpower her anger towards me."

Daniel laughed.

I watched as Daniel walked towards Jenny and sat down with her. Jenny sat with her back to me, and I could tell that she was already complaining about me. Daniel looked at me and sighed, nodding his head and agreeing to what Jenny was saying. I looked towards where Sam usually sits, but she wasn't there yet. I sat down anyways. I knew she would be here today eventually. Plus, I haven't heard anything about her being in trouble like the time she defended herself against Bradley.

From what I heard from some girls that day, Sam was called to the office along with Bradley. She and Bradley were asked to explain the situation. Because Bradley wasn't injured, they let her off with a warning. I didn't want to ask Sam about it because it's not my business. Frankly, I think Bradley deserved it for being an overall jerk, so I didn't need to know the outcome, as long as she's not suspended.

"Seriously?" Sam asked as she sat down across from me.

"I told you that I would be friends with you, and friends hang out with each other at lunch," I responded.

"Really? Then, why aren't you sitting with Jennifer and your other friend?"

"I don't know why Jenny doesn't want to sit here, but I'm pretty sure that it's not about you. I've known Jenny since she was little. She probably does want to talk to you."

"I seriously doubt that."

"She's just being kind of shy. Usually, she's really social, but maybe it's because she's not used to becoming friends with other girls. She usually hangs out with me and Daniel, and in AcaDec, she only talks to the guys."