Collection Of Poems Vol. 1: The Love, the Hate, and the Heartbreak

Another Failed Love Story

It's almost 2AM.
Thoughts of you circle my mind again.
Everyday I keep thinking of you,
It's an obession.
It seems I'll never get over this disease of heartache.
My heart beats at slow tempos,
Remembering I'm the cause of the mess that made us.
You were my first everything,
You were everything to me.
After what I ended, I regret it so.
We were together for a short amount of time, but it was for the best.
It never hit me that it was over.
I'm still thinking I can fix what I broke.

I'm living in the past,
I remember everything.
We actually started talking because I was telling how an object was a type of color.
You were the new girl.
Well, I just never seemed to notice you,
And apparently, you always seemed to notice me.
We walked together afterwards and you seemed so interested in my words,
You were studying me.
After the encounter, no words for months.

Recently realizing I thought I will be lonely once more, you came back again.
We talked more frequently,
You studied me more.
I started to do the same,
Coming to think you had a thing for me,
I played along.
Thinking crushing was a game,
I just wanted to make you happy.
Soon enough, you did the same to me.
I felt cared for,
Someone wanted me to exsist,
Or at least showed me they did.
She told me she did,
Everyday.
She might've never realized it,
But I was content with how I was living.

I remember everything with her was an adventure to me.
I seeked knowledge to make her feel ways that she cannot feel with her alone,
She was my first,
But she wanted me to do so much to her.
We started walking everywhere with each other,
We hugged before parting ways,
We held hands in public,
We kissed,
We made each other feel things we have never felt before,
And I loved it all.
It felt so instinctive to me,
I didn't really realize this was all new material.
It came so natural to me, like breathing.
She just started, and it was easy to follow along.
It's like all this time I was ready,
I just never had someone to do it with.
I learned so much about her,
How to make her happy,
How to make her annoyed,
And sadly,
How to make her heart break.
I never thought about loosing you so easy,
I never thought about breaking your heart,
I just thought about you,
And how I will be someone you would come to when you need me most.

Soon after, we went our seperate paths of our destinies.
I haven't seen you in a month,
But I still remember your beautiful face when you laugh,
I still remember how red you would get when I do the stupidest shit;
And I still remember how scared you looked before I would kiss you like I will never see you again.
Turns out, I never did.
Our paths haven't crossed,
Possibly a sign.
Your name is a curse onto me,
It's just a broken record playing over and over,
And it's those annoying songs in your head you can't get out until you hear it again,
But it's never ending.

I still remember how it felt to hold you in my arms when we never wanted to let go,
I still remember how it felt to hold you hand tight when we were both nervous,
I still remember how your head felt on my left shoulder because you always liked that side better,
And I will never forget how it felt to kiss you that Friday because I wanted you so bad, it was the best feeling I ever had in my life on these 16 years on Earth.
We both had passion,
I felt it.
Nothing has ever exceeded that day,
It's something unforgettable for me,
And I never knew why.
Maybe because it was my first,
Maybe because I cared so much,
I don't know,
But whatever the reason it was,
It's what I'll blame for still living in the past,
And why I'm diagnosed with a mental disease called "Another Failed Love".