My Poetry

The Saddest People

'The saddest people always try their hardest to make people happy because they know what it feels like to be absolutely worthless and they don't want anybody else to feel like that' 

When I was younger my friends bullied me. I know you're probably thinking 'well then they weren't really your friends' but the truth is even though sometimes they could make me feel unwanted and hated they still meant a lot to me, they still do. As I have grown with them I realise kids are mean and they don't fully understand the consequences of their actions, they don't realise that words hurt as bad, and sometimes worse than actions. Sadly some adults have yet to realise this.

When I was younger I didn't make a fuss about it because I never really felt the need. I used to cry almost every night until I was about ten (not because of my friends but my mother). It was always just stupid things and it seems like a lifetime ago now that I think back. My mother and I get along quite well now that I am older and maybe it's because I understand her more, she has a short fuse but I have learned how to handle her without letting her rule what I do. I pride myself in being able to step back and consider a situation from somebody else's point of view.

By the time I reached the ripe age of ten I began to question what I was doing with my life, sure it might seem like a heavy topic for a ten year old but I just really felt I had to find myself. I remember the pressure I had placed on my own shoulders, the idea that I needed to plan everything out at that very moment. I began to turn away from religion (though I still attended Sunday mass each week, and to this day still do). I decided that I didn't need to worship unbelievable stories that didn't have much actual fact or science to back them up.

By the time I reached fourteen I still didn't know who I was supposed to be, but it was then I realised I didn't need to find out. I was only a child, wasn't that what my life was for? To live it out, deal with whatever tasks that were thrown in my face and make my judgment based on how I dealt with these tasks and my actions. At this point in my life I realise judging myself is something I don't want to do, I don't want to say 'I'll let the others judge me' because honestly who cares if they judge me, let them have their opinions I will carry on doing whatever I think is right. Chances are it would be years before I actually finally know who I want to be but for now my goal is to live everyday.